Tag Archives: bomb threat

Epic University Graduation Fail

monkey 4You drop out of uni and fail to tell your parents. Now, how the hell are you going to get through the graduation ceremony without them noticing? OK, well, you rock up  wearing your cap and gown (to throw them off the scent) and just before graduation is about to commence you ring the university and tell them there is a bomb in the library. That should do it! Oh wait, what? They haven’t evacuated anyone from the graduation ceremony. Not to panic, you ring the university back again and tell them “You haven’t cleared out graduation. That’s not a good idea.” Sheez, what’s up with the uni, dumb or something? Oh wait, what? They are moving graduation to another area? This isn’t at all working out like planned. OMG, how did the police find out? Oh wait, what? They traced the phone. Seriously, I can kinda see why she dropped out.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, How Embarrassing

What I Did For Love

Wait, I can explain ...

Wait, I can explain …

You’re getting married, your only basic role is to book the venue, you muck up the forms and realise on the day the venue isn’t booked…what do you do…What do YOU do? Well if you’re a quick thinking British groom you ring up the hall and claim there is a bomb. All went to plan, the bride arrived to discover the hall has been evacuated and the police have cordoned off the area. Phew, wedding disaster averted. Oh, except for the fact a) the call was traced b) he got arrested c) the wedding has been postponed until after his sentencing.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!

Tired Of Baltimore

Man tired of Baltimore makes bomb threatThe best excuse ever for ringing in a bomb threat . Some Baltimore guy rang 911 claiming he had planted a bomb at Oriole Park and when quizzed by the dispatcher about why , he said he was “tired of Baltimore.” Fair enough. Don’t worry baseball fans no bomb, but the dude is still on the loose.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

Oh Goodie, Terrorist Alert Before Christmas

How much to send this to the US?

Oh crap, the US terrorist alert has flipped into “full on fear”  following  explosive packages being found at a UK and Dubai airport overnight. Sheez, it  must be real serious, because even President Obama took time out from his busy schedule to warn of a “credible terrorist threat” after the two suspicious packages (disguised as printer cartridges) turned out to be friggin bombs. Both packages were on United Parcel Service (UPS) flights originating from Yemen and destined for Chicago AND both were addressed to unnamed synagogues in Chicago. Al Qaeda have been named as the usual suspect.

UPDATE : A Yemeni woman has been arrested over the bombs.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Not The Smartest Way To Get Off Work Early

Hate work and want to go home early? Well, if you work at the Ministry of Justice in England you just make a few hoax bomb calls to get your wish. Andre Lake (26) had been working in the Youth Justice Office for 4 months but “no longer enjoyed his work, had no annual leave left and he wanted to leave early” so he made two 999 phone calls. Only problem was he made the calls from inside the friggin building and from areas that needed a swipe card for access. Areas he only had  accessed to at the time of the calls. Friggin dumbass Y gen!

Psst Well he can look on the bright side now, he doesn’t have to go to his shitty job no more!

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

Airplane Escorted By CF-18 Hornet fighter jets

Whoa, those jets are real fast ah!

Settle down people no need for alarm, the Cathay Pacific airplane escorted by CF-18 Hornet fighter jets has landed safely in Vancouver and there isn’t a bomb on board. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police have completed a thorough check of the plane and they say they  found nothing.Hmm, how do they get them horses up the stairs and down those narrow aisles? The jets were scrambled after the Feds received info that there was a bomb on board.

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Filed under Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!