Tag Archives: border

The Anxiety Just Got A Whole Lot Bigger

It was a simple plan. Camouflage yourself and your sled in winter white and drag your 200lb of illegal Xanax through the snow and across the Canadian border into Vermont. The French Canadian nearly pulled off the smuggle but he made one fatal mistake. He followed the railway line and tripped the sensors. Now he will be spending a few years behind bars and a whopping fine. Hmm, might need a Xanax or two now.

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Everyone’s A Friggin Critic

Oh dear god, locals near the Iowa/Nebraska border are still friggin bitching about the new $3 million public art installation “Odyssey” on the 24th Street interchange on Interstate Highway 29/80. Motorists are complaining the Freddy Kruger hands are  so terrifyingly distracting they are finding it hard to concentrate (yep, there has been some rear ending!), thus the nickname “Nightmare on 24th Street”.  The abstract work by renowned international sculptor Albert Paley has also been described as “Edward Scissorbridge”, “Gateway to Disaster” and a ” pile of junk”. Any thoughts …

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

How To Get High On Broccoli

Dude, just chill!

Dumbassed drug smugglers thought they’d be clever mixing 5,000lbs of marijuana with a crate of broccoli and sneak it across the Falfurrias checkpoint. As if anyone would look in there, huh? Hello, sniffer dogs know their vegies from their weed!

Psst I hope they destroy the broccoli too, I hate friggin broccoli.

7 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

101 Uses For Duct Tape

And just when you thought you have exhausted all the uses for duct tape, Nimat David, just raises the bar! Mr David was caught crossing into Detroit from Ontario with 9,000 Ecstasy tablets duct taped to his calves and thighs.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass

No Word On the Missionary’s Position

And here I was thinking the year was going to end with no new Kim Jong Il tale . But was I wrong. An American missionary from Tucson went missing on Christmas day and is feared in North Korea. Hmm, missionaries have no good reason to be hopping over that border (even if it is to have a sip of Pyongy beer). Parents of Robert Park are seriously concerned about their son’s welfare after he failed to contact them after Christmas. Pyong Park, his father, fears he may have illegally crossed the frozen Tumen River into Kim Jong Il’s communist country.Oh well Bill Clinton better pack his golf clubs, there may be some more negotiating on the horizon.

6 Comments

Filed under Friggin Kim Jong Il, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never