Tag Archives: british royal family

Who Does She Think She Is?

I refuse to use a hot water bottle!

OMG, say it ain’t so, the Queen (yes, Elizabeth, Charles’ mom) is rumored to have asked the British government for money from a fund for the poor to help keep her palaces warm. She got the “hell no” because officials feared it would spell a PR disaster for the monarch (ya think?). Damn shame they couldn’t block the freedom of information legislation! Despite getting £15 million in state grants for the upkeep of her palaces per year the rising cost of gas and electricity forced her to beg for “more please”. Royal aides inquired if it was possible to dig into the coffers of a government scheme that was set up to help people on low income, to pay for  four new heat and power units at Buckingham Palace and Windsor Castle. I bet you Fergie is snickering as we speak!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Equal Opportunity Royals

Now lets get it straight, I'm the only queen around here boys!

Now lets get it straight, I'm the only queen around here boys!

Honey, sweetie, darl can you round up all the lesbians, gays, blacks and transgenders (hell, any minority) who are currently or previously firearms trained because the Queen is on the lookout for new bodyguards! Yes, the new age sensitive and apparently now very politically correct Royal family are looking for people within  minority groups to protect them.Reason? Who friggin knows, maybe they think they can employ them for below minimum wage?   Bless. Anywho, everyone is pissed about it, especially Scotland Yard who have been asked to advertise the 30 or so positions (with the focus being to encourage the minorities to apply). Winning applicants will become part of the  elite SO14 Royal Protection Squad those role it will be to deliver residential protection for the Royal Family (what, like in the form of bitch slapping and sarcasm?). Well one thing is for certain if the gays are going to be protecting the Royals, those Buckingham Palace staff parties just got a whole lot more fun and bitchier!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never