Tag Archives: British soldier

Marriage Proposal Fail

Attention all British soldiers serving in Afghanistan with a pregnant girlfriend named Samantha. If you happened to have left a marriage proposal message on her answering machine I have some bad news. It wasn’t her phone. Wrong number mister. Diane Potts from northern England received the heart felt message in which the soldier said “Don’t ever forget I love you, I love you so much, I love you with all my heart and I was going to ask you, don’t answer, obviously you can’t answer, but will you marry me?”. The soldier also talks of losing one of his mates to a roadside bomb before hanging up. Mrs Potts is anxious to pass on the 90 second message, so if you are out there, can you please ring the wrong number again!

Psst This could be a hoax

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, How Embarrassing, Whoops!

It’s Only A Flesh Wound

If you are a British soldier don’t expect too much sympathy from your insurance agent if a Taliban bullet nearly takes your head off because according to them that ain’t nothing but a “flesh wound”. British Royal Marine, Liam Brentley, suffered brain damage when a Taliban bullet ripped through parts of his skull, jaw and brain but insurers Chartis told him it was only a “flesh wound”. Hmm, as a result Mr Brentley received a payout of just $2,400. However Chartis said if in a year he still has a permanent injury he will get more cash.  An angry Gary Brentley (Liam’s father) said  “I’m stunned and insulted. A flesh wound is surely a graze from a bullet – my son had half of his head blown off.” Evidently “flesh wound” refers to all injuries inflicted by a bullet regardless of the extent.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, Whoops!

Blood On The Dance Floor

Cat got your tongue?

What the? Canadian police are searching for a British man who allegedly bit off a woman’s tongue and swallowed it while on a barroom dance floor. The man, who claimed he was a British soldier, sidled up to three Saskatchewan women and began making a nuisance of himself. As the night progressed he became more and more aggressive. At around 1.30am the soldier took one of the women onto the dance floor and at some stage chomped off her tongue. One of her friends said she turned around with blood pouring from her mouth and said “he fucking bit my tongue off.” After an extensive search for the tongue they concluded the man must have eaten it. He did a runner and now the military are freaking it’s one of theirs!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!