Tag Archives: bum

Bringing Up The Rear

Oh dear, Blake Shinn had an awkward wardrobe malfunction at Canterbury Racecourse

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Whoops!

Safe Keeping

fart

Ah, that’s a relief

Seems some crims in the US are using their butts as the hiding place of choice for stolen goods. Take the drunk fool from Pennsylvania who crashed his car and was taken to hospital for x-rays. The doctors found a bag of synthetic marijuana, a socket for a wrench, four bracelets, four necklaces, and 11 ladies rings lodged up his bum. Seems he had been out robbing houses before his kaboom.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

That’s A Bum Wrap

I don’t think it counts as a “cinema shooting” when a moviegoer accidentally shoots himself in the butt in Nevada. The unlucky devil was watching The Bourne Legacy when the gun he was carrying fell on the floor and kaboomed him in the ass. Only a few people heard the bang so there was no need for alarm. And anywho, most people were probably grateful for the distraction…. I hear the movie’s crap.

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Leave The French Flag Alone

OK, here’s the thing bum wiping Frenchman, thanks to you, France has introduced a new law to stop people degrading or destroying their flag! Sheez! It all began after a photograph of a man wiping his butt with the tricolor won a photo contest. What first was considered a work of art quickly became a “unacceptable act” . Now  there will be a €1500 for anyone who so much as snickers at the French flag  in public or in private.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

Doctors Fail to Notice Toilet Brush Handle In Woman’s Bottom

OMG, imagine having a 15cm toilet brush handle embedded in your bum for 4 years. Worse still, imagine dying because doctors failed to take you seriously. Cindy Corton was drunk when she fell on the toilet brush in her friend’s bathroom in 2005. She took herself off to the hospital to have X-Rays but the doctors failed to notice the thin serrated handle stuck in her bottom. In 2007, after immense agony, Cindy finally convinced doctors there was a object in her bum. Unfortunately, by that stage the handle had become embedded in her pelvis making any  attempt at removing it dangerous. Cindy died in 2009 after she underwent a third surgery to have it removed.Needless to say Cindy’s husband Peter is taking legal action against United Lincolnshire Hospitals Trust.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

I’d Be Changing Channels and Friends

OMG, Huang Chen, a 19 year old student rocks up at the Hunan Hangtian Hospital in Changsha, China drunk as a skunk, complaining about a pain in his ass. As Chen is being examined he rolls over in bed and suddenly the channel changes on the ward TV. After X-Rays are completed, doctors are stunned to discover that the reason for his pain is a remote control lodged up his butt. Hmm, seems his roomies thought it would be funny to stick it up his ass as he lay collapsed on the floor. Unfrigginlucky. See people, binge drinking can leave you legless and a right pain in the ass. Oh and worst of all, remote control-less.

Psst I don’t know Loons, those X-rays don’t look right to me. Did they shove or shoot that remote up his colon?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Join the skeptic club!, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

The Sure Shank Redemption

That has got to hurt!

Ewh ouch, Rance Johnson wont be inserting another homemade knife up his ass again anytime soon! The prisoner at the Merced County Main jail had to have the thing surgically removed after complaining of extreme pain in his rectum. The fool had it stuck in his bum for three weeks before telling someone. Known in prison terms as a “shank”, Johnson said he found the 5 inch plastic knife in an interview room and didn’t have a clue what it was but still wedged it up his ass to smuggle it out. I know what you are thinking, ewh gross he didn’t even know where it had been. Well don’t fret loons,  he said he wrapped it inside tissue paper and a sandwich bag before he inserted it. Geez, those interview room have everything!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Gross, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!