You know how I just love a good burglar story. Introducing our dumbass burglar of the week award. Stand up and take a bow the dude who, while attempting to rob a second hand store, spilled a tin of white paint and then proceeded to walk through it. The sound you just heard was my palm slapping on my forehead. It took police a matter of minutes to find your silly white foot trail that lead straight to your door. Oh the humanity!
Nawww, it’s always a tad sad when a burglar ends up in an epic fail. Take this poor soul who came to a humiliating kaboom when he fell through the ceiling of a restaurant after failing to steal anything from the manager’s office. Just not his day.
Guess who Santa is skipping this year? The dumbass burglar who left his debit card at the crime scene and some very distinctive “Route 66” impressions from his shoes outside in the snow. Not very nice… or bright. Might want to consider a career change.
A burglar from Oklahoma City, who had a bad habit of not flushing, has been busted after used toilet paper and a floater which were found at the crime scene were matched to his DNA. Ewh. Pity the fool, who had to scoop the poop.
Finally a burglar who knows what he is doing. A North Carolina burglar not only broke into houses, he often snuck into bed when there was a female owner and offered her a back rub. Smooth. Unfortunately for the 29 year old the court didn’t see the health benefits. Bubba pass the massage oil.
Want sauce with that?
When neighbors heard screaming coming from a house in New Zealand, they thought it was a domestic. Hmm, but they were wrong. The sound was coming from a burglar who had just stumbled across a dead body hanging in the house. The traumatized thief rang police who verified the owner of the house had committed suicide.
OK Ohio police, about those ankle monitors. Some crim in Ohio committed 20 break-ins while out on parole and wearing an ankle monitor. His spree ended at Walmart. And yes, he was wearing the monitor. Hmm, so does amyone monitor the monitors?
Psst Friggin Ohio, home of Bearman.