Tag Archives: burglars

Big Ol Nasty Party

What’s worse than having your house ransacked? Coming home to find the burglar’s on the couch having sex. Sheez, get a room. In the unfortunate owner’s words… “It’s like they just had a big ol’ nasty party.’ Worse still, while the owner was a way for a few days the burglar couple were seen flogging her jewellery. She has since set up a GoFundMe page which has managed to raise $10.

PSST: I hope she sold the couch.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross

Burglars Foil Themselves

Oh bless, a pair of Brazilian burglars had an ingenious plan to avoid setting off security alarms during a bank robbery. They wrapped themselves from head to toe in aluminium foil. Hmm, well apparently they were right, they were successful in not setting off the alarms but not so in voiding being filmed by a manned security camera. Cops arrived before they could even crack a safe. They would have made a noisy exit running in foil suits. So many levels of awks.

alfoil 2

alfoil

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never, Whoops!

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

monkey 2OMG, a pair of bungling burglars who cut themselves on broken glass while ransacking a gym came up with an ingenious idea . After having wrecked the place they returned a short time later with white paint to cover over their blood. Hmm, a nice shade of pink. But anywho, the fools had no idea their antics were being recorded on CCTV footage.

Psst Welsh

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, They Live Among Us !

Silly, Silly, Burglars

Burglars lock home owner in gun closetOf all the idiotic things to do. Three men decided to burgle a house in Texas (their first mistake).  When they were confronted by the home owner they locked him a closet . …. the gun friggin closet. It wasn’t long before the owner came out with his guns a-blazing. Run burglars , run.  Needless to say they fled… with a few additional puncture wounds, of course. Oh the humanity.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

Burglars Make Fatal Mistake

Burglars break into lethal asbestos caravanAttention burglars of Hampshire. The dudes that broke into a caravan on a building site in Eastleigh might want to plonk everything they stole into a sealed bag and hightail it to hospital  immediately to seek medical help. Whoopsie, seems they broke into a decontamination caravan  full of lethal asbestos covered clothing worn by workers on the demolition site. Evidently they opened the sealed bags and rummaged through the clothing that were covered in the deadly spores.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under Friggin Scary, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

Honor Amongst Thieves

When two burglars, who stole 50 burnable CD’s from Kraig Stockard’s place during their robbery, tried to record their music on them they were peeved to find that most of them had already been burned….with child porn!!! So they did what any law abiding burglars would do, they went to police . Police seized three desktop computers and three laptops from Mr Stockard’s house and later charged him with possession of porn. As for the burglars, they weren’t arrested because as the California police said “they were obviously the lesser of two evils,”

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

Health and Safety Alert

Attention the good people of England, the police would like to inform you that it’s not wise to put wire mesh on your garden shed windows because a burglar might get injured and sue your sorry ass. Many locals in Kent and Surrey have been placing wire mesh over the windows for reinforcement after a spate of burglaries in which power tools, lawnmowers and bikes have been nicked. This has prompted police to warn them that if a crim gets hurt on the wire they could sue  for compo. Hmm, so maybe the locals should put a welcome mat outside the shed and leave the door open. Oh wait, the thief might trip over the mat and get hit by the door on the way out! Friggin Nanny State!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Nanny State, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Cocaine Fail

OK, here’s the thing dumbassed burglars, that powdery substance you found in the house you were robbing was not cocaine or heroin but the ashes of the owner’s father and her two Great Danes, so quit snorting it! Yep, they did.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Burglars Show Their Kinky Side

Hmm, here’s something new in kinky. A Washington couple were caught making a sex tape in a house they had broken into. A neighbor stumbled across the burglars having sex on the floor while collecting mail for the homeowner. The pair fled the scene leaving behind their clothes and of course the video camera. Police have identified the two after watching the raunchy tape.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, How Embarrassing, Well I Never, Whoops!

Square Peg, Round Hole

OK, here’s the thing 238lb wannabe burglar, you ain’t never gonna get through a 2ft hole.Two brothers, Clive and Kelvin Webster, were caught in North Devon after one of them (plump one) got himself stuck in a hole in the wall as they attempted to rob a department store. To make matters worse the hole they made was only 6ft from the burglar alarm.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Sore Loser, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!