Tag Archives: Canada

Rage Yoga

Downward $^%%* dog NOW!!!!

Downward $^%%* dog NOW!!!!

Yes, yes, yes….finally. A Canadian genius guru woman has come up with a unique idea…rage yoga. Yep, you can let it all out during the yoga session, screaming, yelling swearing, and then down a pint or two afterwards. See ya serious connoisseurs of the ancient art and hello Y Gen raging helicopter moms .

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome

Severed Foot Coastline

It all started in 2007, the first foot washes up on a Canadian beach. Authorities rule out a serial killer, public not so sure. When a second severed foot washed up a few days later the world is abuzz. Well Loons, guess what? They are now up to 13 severed feet found on the British Columbian coastline…or 16 if you count the three found further down in Washington State. I kid you not, the latest foot in a shoe washed up last Sunday. Authorities have identified 10 of those feet as belonging to 7 different people. They claim no foul play was involved but most likely suicide. A few detectives have raised their eyebrows as to the bizarre coincidences, especially as all the feet found have been in runners.

PSST Past posts on severed feet,  Row Row Row,  8th Foot,  Another foot,  Foot Mystery Solved,

 

4 Comments

Filed under Friggin Scary

The Anxiety Just Got A Whole Lot Bigger

It was a simple plan. Camouflage yourself and your sled in winter white and drag your 200lb of illegal Xanax through the snow and across the Canadian border into Vermont. The French Canadian nearly pulled off the smuggle but he made one fatal mistake. He followed the railway line and tripped the sensors. Now he will be spending a few years behind bars and a whopping fine. Hmm, might need a Xanax or two now.

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Don’t Mess With Doo Doo

As you know, not a fan of clowns BUT I will make an exception for Doo Doo the Clown who saved two women from a mugging. Doo Doo, a well known Canadian entertainer, spotted a shirtless dude while out and about so decided to toddled off and investigate (in his non clown Hummer). When he rolled into the alleyway he discovered the man was violently confronting the women, so he did what any Doo Doo clown would do, he rescued them.

5 Comments

Filed under They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Peegate

You know what I hate? When your past comes back to haunt you. A Canadian candidate for parliament has had to withdrawal after it was discovered that in 2012 he was the infamous repairman who peed in a customers coffee mug while fixing a dishwasher.

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!

Game Changer

Standby Canadian basketball fans, the game is going to get a lot more interesting. An up and rising star is about to use his real name for the first time … introducing Guilherme Carabagiale Fuck. The college basketball player has been using, up until now, “Carabagiale” on the back of his uniform but he says he is proud of his name and would like to use it in his professional career. So many lines I could use right now ….

1 Comment

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

And The Loser Is ……

loser2Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Some poor guy has missed out on $35 million because his lottery ticket was printed 7 seconds after the closing time. The prob was he bought the tickets right on closing time, the first one he bought was valid but by the time the second ticket was printed it was too late for the draw . He took the lottery regulator to court, suing for half the winnings because someone else won. The court said NO. Loser.

5 Comments

Filed under Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!