Tag Archives: Canadian police

Hey Mom, Where Are My Brownies?

Woohoo, we must get the recipe!!!

OK loons, here’s the moral of the story…. do not and I repeat, do not take frozen brownies, that your son made, from your freezer and take them to work for the staff. Oh, unless of course you all want to be taken to hospital for being suspectedly high as kites. Three Canadian office workers who started feeling light headed and disorientated after munching on the sweet treat were taken to hospital only to discover the brownies were jam packed with dope.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Look What The Sting Dragged In!

Who would have thought?

What does a defrocked Anglican priest, a York Uni Professor and Honker the clown all have in common? They’ll soon be on the Canadian  registered sex offenders list after they were arrested in a global kiddie porn ring sting. Richard Dyde, a high profile York University engineer and professor, was charged with making child pornography and Randy “Honker the Clown” Miller, 40, a Beaver leader with Scouts Canada, was charged with making child pornography and sexual assault. The sting has so far has netted 57 men.

Psst A clown and a beaver leader….sheez, did no one see that one coming?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Blood On The Dance Floor

Cat got your tongue?

What the? Canadian police are searching for a British man who allegedly bit off a woman’s tongue and swallowed it while on a barroom dance floor. The man, who claimed he was a British soldier, sidled up to three Saskatchewan women and began making a nuisance of himself. As the night progressed he became more and more aggressive. At around 1.30am the soldier took one of the women onto the dance floor and at some stage chomped off her tongue. One of her friends said she turned around with blood pouring from her mouth and said “he fucking bit my tongue off.” After an extensive search for the tongue they concluded the man must have eaten it. He did a runner and now the military are freaking it’s one of theirs!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Fertilizer Fiend

If one of these faces looks familiar to you, you might want to contact the Canadian police. Seems this guy bought enough ammonium nitrate (aka fertilizer) to significantly kaboom things. The man, who bought the fertilizer on the 26th of May, made up some cock and bull story about buying it on behalf of  a local farmer.Hmm, seems not only is he a potential terrorist but a liar too. It is thought the guy bought about 65 bags, each containing 25kg of potentially explosive shit (about $2,000 worth). Hmm, might come in handy for the up and coming G8 and G20 summit …I’m just saying. Anywho, the man is described as being a middle aged European, short, fat, slight limp, unkempt hair, irregular teeth and missing fingers on his right hand. WTF, who would sell fertilizer to a man looking like that and not demand ID …sheez! He was last seen making his getaway in a maroon minivan.

The three tenors?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never