Tag Archives: cancelled

Sorry Folks

ice ageOh dear, the New York Central Park Ice Festival has been cancelled because…wait for it…. it’s too cold.

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

No Refund Wedding Twist

A woman’s worst nightmare… having her groom get cold feet a week before the wedding and bailing. Probably even worse is when the mother of the bride decides to go ahead with the $35,000 wedding (because there is no refund)  and invites local homeless people to the banquet. OK, who am I kidding, great idea, really thoughtful but now every one around the world knows the poor bride got ditched. Anywho, she was too distraught to show so her mom hosted the event at Sacramento’s posh Citizen Hotel. Families and individuals from local shelters arrived to feast on the lavish meal.

PSST Mother and ex bride then flew off the Belize to enjoy the honeymoon. I wonder if the groom’s family had chipped in any of the costs? Come on loons, aren’t you curious?

4 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

One Less First World Problem To Worry About

Fox has finally taken the axe to American Idol. Yes, it has been cancelled.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome

Charles Manson …Always a Bridesmaid

Charles Manson caught with another cell phone

Call me…

Good news ladies, Charles Manson is back on the market. Yep, he has dumped his lady love and cancelled the wedding after he discovered the evil, dastardly, fiend was planning to put his body on display after he croaked it. The 27 year old was evidently plotting with some mates to come up with a get rich scheme. Sheez, lucky for them Manson is behind bars, me thinks. Anywho, Manson claims he was never intending to marry the woman but was simply using her to get toiletries and goodies. Ouch. So ladies, anyone want an 80 year old serial killer, with a steady income and no chance of parole?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Cancel Trip To San Diego The Marshmallow Fight Is Off

Out of my way, he's been shot by a MoonPie

Out of my way, he’s been shot by a MoonPie

Look away Fraz, Binky, Winky and Twink, San Diego city officials have cancelled the annual 4th of July marshmallow fight. OMG, NOOOOOOOO.  Oh and get this, their reasons are to a) prevent littering and b) prevent the use of harmful objects.Bwahahaha, since when has a marshmallow been deemed a harmful object, now running with the bulls, yes, but mallows, no. This is rich coming from a country that is allowed to carry concealed weapons. Hmm, unless they use marshmallow bullets…that could hurt? Bwahahaha  no it couldn’t. Anywho, local businesses have been told to quit selling marshmallows. It’s cruel I say, cruel. How about a Gummy Bear fight instead?

5 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Really? You Cancelled The New York Marathon

Get out of the friggin way, we’re coming through!!!!

The latest victim of Hurricane Sandy is the New York Marathon. Seems some people have an issue with holding the event this the weekend when there are still people without power, livelihoods or homes. Insensitive?  Oh come on, they would only be using a few hundred generators … give them candles (it will only be for a few hours). And anywho, it isn’t like the city is going to be congested, there ain’t no fuel. OK, OK, the runners may have to hurdled over a few overturned obstacles like tree trunks, water logged cars, dangling cranes, dirty dead rats, garbage….   but that will make it even more friggin exciting people!!!! The only bummer would  be for the winner, as punching the air would have looked quite naff considering.

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Spoil Sports

I'm no dick!

The Cornell University Police Department have stopped the second annual “Epic Snowball Fight on the Arts Quad” and also knocked over their 6ft snow penis. Hmm, seems someone complained and when the cops came a calling they got a little pelting with snowballs.

Want sauce with that?

Psst Why, why, why the snow penis?

4 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!