Tag Archives: Catholic church

Way to Get Suspended

A Filipino priest got himself in some hell fire by the Catholic Church after he was busted giving a Christmas service on a Hoverboard. Evidently, it was a violation of the ‘highest form of worship.’ The coolest priest ever,  has now been suspended so he can have time to reflect on his ungodly behaviour.

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Catholic Church Cleaning Up Its Act

priestPraise the Lord. Pope Francis is thinking about lifting the Catholic celibacy law to allow priests to marry. This comes on the back of the announcement that 2% of those in the church, including priests, bishops and cardinals are pedophiles.

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Filed under They Live Among Us !

How To Sell A Coffin

polish-coffinEveryone knows the best way to market something is to create a calendar featuring a series of nude women draped over your product. That is, unless you are a Polish coffin maker. O Oh, what started as a good idea has ended with Polish Catholic Church officials demanding the calendars , which are being sold for charity, to be withdrawn immediately as “human death should be respected and not mixed with sex.”

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Homeless Jesus Homeless

Seems the Catholic church isn’t too receptive to displaying a bronze sculpture depicting Jesus as a homeless man sleeping on a park bench. Canadian artist Timothy Schmalz, has had his piece “Homeless Jesus” rejected by two prominent churches.  Well not, by the rectors, they loved it, and got the whole “Jesus identifying with the poorer citizens” theme but by the higher powers that be.  They thought it would be too controversial.

Homeless Jesus on a bench sculpture rejected

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Anonymous Down Vatican Websites

God will punish you

Holy Heathens Batman. LulSec maybe  gone but Anonymous have still got some spunk, they have just taken down several Vatican websites because basically, they can. Oh and because they believe the Catholic church is corrupt. The hackers posted this statement on their Italian language version website “This attack is not against the Christian religion or the faithful around the world but against the corrupt Roman Apostolic Church,”

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Right Under His Nose

How’s this for some holy irony? One of the Catholic Church’s most influential Italian Cardinals, Father Riccardo Seppia, who’s been working with Pope Benedict on dealing with pedophile priests,  has been busted on  pedophilia and drug offenses. Awkward.Father Riccardo Seppia had no idea his cell phone was being tapped when he rang a man to organize  a young boy for sexual purposes. It is alleged during the conversation Seppia said “I do not want 16-year-old boys but younger. Fourteen-year-olds are O.K. Look for needy boys who have family issues,” Hmm, seems someone’s going to be separated from his flock!

Want sauce with that?

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Pope Ticket Sales Poor

Awkward. Seems Pope Benedict XVI is having probs flogging tickets to his open air Masses in Britain. Hmm, here’s a Christian thing to do, don’t friggin charge them and they might come!

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Who Said The Catholic Church Is A Boy’s Club?

Look away women libbers, the Vatican have just thrown the ordination of woman into the same basket as priests who rape children.As of today the Vatican sees the  “attempted ordination” of women one of the gravest crimes under church law, up there with child molestation and heresy.  Hmm and whats more, any  Catholic woman or bishop who is caught conductimg such a ceremony will be excommunicated ASAP. Bravo and welcome back to the dark ages boys.

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Papal Tour Request

Oh for the love of God, it use to be the Vatican’s greatest fear was that some psycho would jump out of the crowd and try to knife the Pope during his papal tour. Hmm, not anymore. No siree, their greatest fear now is those friggin vuvuzelas. The head of the Catholic Church in England and Wales is begging the public to leave the friggin things in South Africa and not blow them during his tour of Britain. Seems Pope Benedict is not a fan!

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It’s All One Big Conspiracy

Why the hell didn’t I see. Retired Bishop Giacomo Babini of the Italian town of Grosseto believes the recent sex scandals sweeping through the Catholic Church have been orchestrated by the Freemasons and the Jews. Hello, we all know they are “eternal enemies of Catholicism”. Geez, slap me down Dan Brown for not seeing this coming! Mr Babini believes that it’s primarily a Zionist attack aimed at bringing down the church. How simple, right there in front of our eyes! Basically he thinks the Jews are “God-killers” and that “guilt is graver than what Christ predicted would happen to them, saying ‘do not cry for me, but for your own children.'” Whoa! And if you think that was a little bit harsh, Mr Babini had to go and bring up the Holocaust “Don’t believe that Hitler was merely crazy. The truth is that the Nazis’ criminal fury was provoked by the Jews’ economic embezzlement, by which they choked the German economy.”  OK, now I am backing right away, you are on your own now mister!

Psst Hmm, so how does that explain all the children who were molested by Catholic priests again?

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