Tag Archives: cheese

Let Them Eat Cheddar!

Forget the friggin potatoes, the poor in Ireland are going to be fed cheese. Yes, yippee, cheese! Ireland’s ag minister announced the government is going to purchase 53 tonnes of Irish cheddar to hand out to needy families next week. Hmm, would have been nicer if they had “let them eat cake”.

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Blue Mozzarella

When your balls turn blue that’s a recall.Italian police have confiscated 70,000 balls of mozzarella in Turin after people began complaining the white cheese was turning blue when removed from its packaging. Agriculture Minister called it “disturbing”. Tests are currently underway to see if they can detect any foreign substance.

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David Coppermouse

Want to know how the little buggers foil your damn mouse traps?

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Breast Milk Cheese

No thanks!

I’m sorry but friggin breast milk cheese is gross, no matter which way you look at it. I have written about this before “Breast Milk Cheese On Crackers“, but now chef Daniel Angerer from a New York Bistro is using his wife’s breast milk  to make a fig and paprika cheese concoction for his customers. Ugh! Since discussing his cheese making attempts on his blog he has been inundated with interest, some good, some downright weird.  And so what does chef Daniel’s wife Lori Mason have to say about all the creepy questions and requests? “I’m not here to walk people through their psychological problems,” The health department are already raising an eyebrow to the idea and have requested they refrain from serving it to the public. In the meantime Lori wants her hubby to try gelato next.

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Three Strikes

Shredded cheese, and you?

Three strikes and you are out mister. Robert Ferguson will be spending the next 7 years and 8 months in prison thanks to a bag of shredded cheese he hid down his pants and a woman’s wallet he nicked off a 7-eleven counter. He should be grateful he got that, prosecutors were going for life! The dude had a string of priors.

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Listeria Intolerance

Bon Appetite

Oh dear god, contaminated cheese has killed 6 people in Europe. Everybody panic. The deaths, four in Austria and two in Germany, were caused by listeria some nasty organism that has a fondness for very young children and the elderly. The cheese made by  Prolactal GmbH has been recalled.

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What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

I am not going to tell you the ending, you’ll just have to watch…

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Friggin Shopping Trolley

Take my friggin trolley, I'll show them what's what!

OMG, all hell broke loose in a German supermarket after a pre baby boomer and a X  Gen fought over a shopping trolley. The 74 year old pensioner wrestled with the 35 year old  woman to  lay claim to the only shopping trolley left in the car park. Next thing X gens brother floors the old man with a punch. Not to be out done the pensioner follows them to the cheese counter and clubs the brother with a friggin salami. Enter X gens mother who wallops old man with a 4lbs piece of Parmesan. Old man then pushes mother down onto glass counter where she cracks her head. Enter police . Both old man and mother are treated in hospital for minor injuries while the trolley sought counseling. Merry Christmas!

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You Can Now Milk It For All It’s Worth

Show us your teats!

All hail Facebook, they have lifted the ban on advertising dairy. Milk, cheese, yogurt and ice cream,  along with gambling, tobacco, gasoline, prescription drugs and firearms  have long been banned from promotions on the social networking site. But now that they are satisfied no one will be snorting cottage cheese or shooting an ice cream projectile at anyone, its thumbs up to dairy. Well, how now brown cow!

Psst How friggin slow is this news day?

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