Oh for the love of wildlife, a man in Chicago has had his pet seized by police. Evidently, having an alligator in your basement for 26 years is wrong. The 6ft, 200lb creature was bought as a bub at a swap meet and had been living in the guy’s Chicago basement ever since. The owner told police he often let him roam around the backyard. Hmm, there is a charge of unlawful possession of an endangered species right there.
PSST Are you thinking what I am thinking? There must have been a very big newspaper…or one hell of a mess.
A fire extinguisher company in Chicago burned down
It’s official Chicago is the number one city for bedbugs. Take a bow. Oh and quit the sniggering Los Angeles, Columbus (Ohio), Detroit, Cincinnati, Cleveland/Akron/Canton, Dayton, Washington D.C., Denver and Indianapolis you are all in the top ten. Happy scratching Bearman.
Well, if you think you are having a bad day, spare a thought for this poor dude. The Chicago man was walking down the street when someone kidnapped him and then beat the crap out of him. When police found him sprawled out on the ground they found his address and went to search his home. Unfortunately he hadn’t hidden his 170 pounds of cocaine and 50 pounds of marijuana very well. Enter narcotics squad who seized the stash. Seems the dude was wanted in connection with a federal narcotics investigation. Told ya, a very bad day.
Seems some people in Chicago have a prob with the new Urban Core billboard featuring a retired porn star.
Want to get back at your ex? Well, here’s the most nastiest way possible. You buy a car, register it under your ex’s name and then park it at Chicago’s O’hare Airport for three years. When the Chicago’s Department of Finance finally tracks them down, they will be given a bill for $105,000 in parking fines. Ta-da. Oh yeah, and don’t worry, in Chicago, judges make the victim pay. Don’t believe me, just ask Jennifer Fitzgerald, that’s what her ex boyfriend did. Now she is the proud owner of the biggest fines in Chicago’s history.
A man stole a Bobcat front loader from a construction site in Chicago and rammed a Family Dollar store before making off with two cans of deodorant and a bunch of gift cards.What about the cash register fool? The cash register was right there…oh never mind.
A robber who held up a bank in Chicago, claiming to have a bomb, forgot to leave with the bag of cash. That’s friggin dumb.
Attention people in the Chicago area, be on the look out for someone stealing lug nuts off police squad cars. The lug nutter has so far removed the nuts from several cop car’s wheels while they have been parked on the police station car park. So far no wheels have fallen off.