Tag Archives: chinese

Sore Loser

asian girlYou know what is awks? When you get injured, have to go to hospital and all your girlfriends visit at the same time. A Chinese man probably wished he had been badly injured in the car accident when hospital staff contacted his 17 girlfriends , who they thought were family members, and they all rocked up at the same time. To make matters worse they all discovered they had all been giving him money, with one poor idiot admitting she had been supporting him for 9 years. He is now facing a string of fraud charges.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Sore Loser, They Live Among Us !, Whoops!

Fake Fur

mouseThe high society of Rome are all aghast after a group of Chinese business owners were busted for making fake cashmere clothes. And by fake I mean the cashmere was actually rat fur and acrylic.

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

Sign of the Times

Why is there no Wongs?

The top ten most common surnames in the Italian city of Milan now includes three Chinese names. Take a bow all you Hus, you have the second most popular surname. Chen is number 8 and Zhou is just scraping in at 10.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !

Chinese Wine vs French Wine

and our snails taste better too!!!

You know the end of the world is near when Chinese wine beats French wine in a tasting event in China. Hmm, yep I know what you are thinking, they used Chinese experts as judges? Nope, the panel of 10 were made up of half French and half Chinese wine experts. Anywho, the top 4 wines came from China’s northwestern Ningxia region. The best the French could do was a fifth place for their 2009 Lafite Saga. Hmm, I would have the wine analyzed to make sure the Chinese used grapes and not just MSG.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Scorpions Alive!

Want to know a foolproof way of removing tenants from a residential complex? Unleash thousands of scorpions, that’s how. Brilliant. A Chinese real eastate company is being accused of the devious trick to force the residents to move out so they can fast track a new construction project. Poor Chen, a resident, got the fright of his life when he   awoke to find a scorpion crawling across  his body. Worse came when he switched on the lights only to  find his bedroom crawling with the creatures. The apartments are set to be demolished but the owners haven’t signed a compo deal yet. Sheez amateurs, why beat around the bush, I’d unleash friggin snakes.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

Now We Know Why He Was Still A Bachelor

OK here’s the thing Liu Hao, when you are a suspected murderer it probably isn’t wise to go on a popular Chinese TV dating show . I’m just saying! OK, OK, the murder happened 14 years ago but someone remembered because they dobbed him in after watching the show. That’s an arrest right there!

Psst Oh and if you were wondering, yes, the female contestant  picked him out to go on a date! Phew, close call.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Chinese Making Fake Jacob’s Creek

Dear god, the Chinese are now making fake Jacob’s Creek bottles of wine and flogging them to the Brits. Blahaha, haven’t the Aussies been doing that for years? Anywho, the sneaky Chinese counterfeiters are then pouring inferior wine into the bottles and offering it to retailers for £2 each .

Psst So Duncan, the way to know if you are drinking the fakes is to check the labels because there are friggin spelling mistakes everywhere.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Not a Pleasant Way To Go

OMG, a chef from Sichuan in China, died after his mates put an eel up his butt and it ate his bowel. No seriously, that is gross. The 50cm Asian swamp eel was shoved up the man’s anus after he passed out drunk during a night out with some friends. Doctors only found the slimy creature in his rectum after he had died. Bummer!

Psst The funeral will be awkward

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never, Whoops!

Stop Looking, Noah’s Ark Has Been Found People

Well,well , well, seems a team of Chinese and Turkish religious explorers believe they have absolutely, positively found Noah’s Ark this time. Oh and yes it is up that mountain in Turkey. The wooden bits and pieces found on Mount Ararat have been carbon dated and surprise, surprise, they date back to around the time Noah and his animals ran aground (4800 years ago). Despite the fact they can’t really prove the wood was actually from Noah’s boat and not from some other vessel they think they are 99.9% correct.

Psst So where did all the animals go? That was one big friggin stampede waiting to happen! Not to mention an almighty mess to clean up!

10 Comments

Filed under Friggin Research, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Epic Bus Driver Fail

A very good reason why one must never drive in China. This is video footage from a bus as it plows through motorists on a freeway. The bonus is you get to see it from multiple camera angles.

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Filed under Friggin Scary, Well I Never, Whoops!