Tag Archives: CIA

Scratch and Sniff Fail

The CIA dumped Lulu after a year training. Seems Lulu was basically lazy and disinterested in her career path. Lulu is a black labrador recruited for explosive detection program. Well, that was until she got sacked. It seems Lulu had no interest whatsoever in sniffing out bombs. Nope, not even with the promise of food and games. Smart doggy. She obviously knew , one wrong move and kaboom, doggone!

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife

Spooks on Social Media

spyingGuess what? The CIA are on Twitter but they will neither confirm nor deny it. The agency has also opened Facebook, Flickr and YouTube accounts. May the spooks be with you!

Psst Evidently the CIA account is legit because Twitter has given it a verified icon.


Filed under Well I Never

Undie Bombs Are Back!

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle ..kaboom!

Oh no, those ghastly underpants bombs are back, only this time new and improved. Seems al Qaeda are determined to blow up a passenger plane using the knickers approach. CIA uncovered the plot in Yemen. This time the undies contained no metal  and authorities are not sure if they would have been detected at airport security, despite sophisticated scanning equipment. CIA suspect the underwear bomb is the work of master bomb maker Ibrahim Hassan al-Asiri (and wannabe fashionista) minus the printer cartridges. Oh and happy one year anniversary of rotting in hell Osama.

Psst I’m guessing TSA frisking is gonna get a whole lot more risque!


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary

Who’s killing the great nuclear scientists of Iran?

Come out, come out, where ever you are. Seems over the last few years Iran’s top scientists have systematically been  bumped off and fingers are being pointing directly at US (CIA), UK (MI6) and Israel (Mossad).The latest victim was Ahmadi Roshan, a deputy director of Iran’s main uranium enrichment plant, who was going on his merry way when assassins on motorbikes rode up along side his car and placed a magnetic bomb  ….. kaboom. Now Imadinnerjacket and the Ayatollah are peeved. Oh boy, the UN, shall be expecting some strongly worded letters, no doubt!


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Come Out, Come Out, Where Ever You Are

Attention good people of Iran, if you happen to come across a US RQ-170 drone in your travels could you please give the CIA a buzz thanks, they are looking for it! Seems the $6 million unmanned aircraft,  nicknamed “beast of Kandahar”, went AWOL during a secret mission. Evidently it is so top secret the US Air Force haven’t even distributed a photo of the darn thing.


Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

LulSec Founder Arrested

Oh my, I sure hope the British ploice  know what they are doing. They are claiming they have arrested one of the founders of LulzSec and Anonymous, who goes by the online nickname of Topiary. The internet hacking group have been responsible for the hacking of the CIA, Sony, The Sun newspaper and the US senate websites. The 19 year old was arrested on the Shetland Islands during a  “pre-planned intelligence-led operation” raid. LOL!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!

Smoke And Mirrors

Oh for crying out loud it seems one of the global hackers of Sony, Nintendo and the CIA is a 19 year old living with his mum  in Wickford, Essex. Yes you heard me his mum Essex!!! It is believed Ryan Cleary, who was arrested by Scotland Yard in a dawn raid, is part of a larger hacking gang called LulzSec which is a splinter group of Anonymous. Anywho, Cleary’s identity  may have been blown by rival hackers who deliberately published his name, address and cell phone number on the net recently. Hmm, gee, so it wasn’t complex detective work by the CIA or Scotland Yard then?  His half brother told reporters “Ryan used to be part of WikiLeaks. He has upset someone doing that and they made a Facebook page having a go at him.” Sounds more like the  hackers are  messing with them!!!

Hmm, I hope Cleary has a passport because he may be taking a trip to the US.

Psst For 10 hours after the arrest the LulzSec’s Twitter account was silent but then this appeared “Seems the glorious leader of LulzSec got arrested, it’s all over now… wait… we’re all still here! Which poor bastard did they take down?”  ….to be continued


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

How They Caught Osama Bin Laden

It took 10 years before someone finally used a cell phone. Seems the only reason why Osama is now the devil in the deep blue sea,  is because his right hand man, Sheikh Abu Ahmed, used his cell phone to talk to an al Qaeda operative who was being bugged. Doh! The golden rule of the Bin Laden club has always been never, ever use your cell phone to talk. Whoopsie, seems Ahmed stuffed up. He used a cheap phone to chat with a mate who was being bugged by the CIA. Sheez, it could have been worse, he could have got caught in the Sony PlayStation Network breach.

Psst Sheez, the CIA could have simply got Steve Jobs to find him via iTunes!


Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

The Ultimate Sacrifice

Sheez, and here I thought it was just me!

Sheez, joining Al Qaeda isn’t it’s all cracked up to be. Apparently a prerequisite is having to take an  impotency injection to your penis. Don’t want no terrorist thinking with his dick now do we, especially when they have a jihad to worry about, gosh! Abd al-Rahim al-Nashiri who was gently persuaded by the CIA to spill his guts said he took the powerful chemicals to stop himself from being distracted by women.


Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

WTF Taskforce

Oh give me a break, guess what the CIA are calling the task force set up to evaluate the damage done by WikiLeaks? Wait for it …..WTF. …get it, WikiLeaks Task Force. They are so friggin clever. Hmm,  if they had only spent more time protecting their Secret Internet Protocol Router Network (SIPRNET)  in the first place, Assange could still be screwing anyone he liked!


Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never