A man from Cleveland has been banned from going near any garage pumps after he was caught drinking petrol …again. The addict loves nothing better than slashing the hose and taking a drink or sniff of gasoline before doing a little jig while high as a kite. A few years back he tried beating the habit by attending meetings but was kicked out due to the stench and the fear he posed a fire risk.
Tag Archives: Cleveland
Oh dear, a man who was suppose to hold up a sign for 3 hours saying he’s an “idiot” for threatening police was a no show. The judge had sentenced him to 90 days jail plus the sign punishment after he made numerous 911 calls threatening to kill police officers. When the day arrived for him to hold up the sign across the road from the police station , he was nowhere to be seen. Hmm, maybe he isn’t such an idiot after all.
2nd Psst Friggin Ohio, home of Bearman.
A judge in Cleveland has ordered a woman, who was caught on camera driving up a sidewalk to avoid waiting behind a school bus, to stand at an intersection for two days wearing a a sign saying “Only an idiot drives on the sidewalk to avoid a school bus.”. Hmm, so I wonder how many drivers will be distracted by that? Yep, this could only happen in Friggin Ohio, home of Bearman. Yes, Bearman and Bill, I know, Ohio is the State that will determine the next US President!!!!!
The silliest news story you will see all day. WJW Fox 8, a Cleveland news station, reported on a bear sighting by using a cardboard bear cutout to recreate the event. Priceless.
Well, here’s a novel way to rob a convenience store, get yourself methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) and then flash it at the attendant. Hmm, you can pretty much help yourself to all the candy you want after that. Unfortunately for Caroline Slusher and her two mates it didn’t go quite according to plan, they were arrested after they used the bacterial infection to rob a Cleveland store. Obviously police weren’t so scared of pusy oozing sores as the convenience store clerk. That’s a 2-8 year prison term missy!
Psst MRSA is caused by a nasty strain of staph bacteria resistant to antibiotics.
OK Cleveland, no need to panic but you may have your very own version of Bigfoot on your hands, that or Hulk Hogan has been sighted! Tim Peeler swears he had a close encounter with a 10ft tall creature with a long beard, yellowish blond hair and six fingers on each hand roaming on his property. Peeler was minding his own bees wax when he began hearing strange screeching and grunting sounds outside his cabin and went to investigate. He told police the creature may have been menacing his dogs so he told the beast ‘You get away from here,’ and when he came back a second time he said “Get! Get!. And he went back down the path again,” Obediently little bugger! Anywho Cleveland, you might want to sleep with one eye open for awhile!!!!
Psst Rumors about the creature, known as the Ohio Grassman, have circulated for years.
Just a quick community service announcement to the people of Cleveland , you know Mary, that 100 year old tortoise at the zoo? Yeah well it is really a male, so from now on can you call him Terry, thanks!
Psst The 400lb tortoise arrived at the zoo in 1955 for goodness sakes, didn’t anyone bother to have a look see?