Send In The Clowns

Do you know what’s scarier than a Mexican drug lord? A posse of clown assassins who gun down a Mexican drug lord at a children’s party. Yep, one of Mexico’s most powerful former bigwigs met his maker when a group of assassins dressed as clowns ( including red nose and wig) entered a family gathering being held at a major tourist resort and shot him dead at point blank range. The clowns fled before police arrived. Hmm, they obviously didn’t wear the oversized shoes!!!!

Get Those Things Away From Me!!!

What on earth would possess Ortrud Kastaun, from Germany, to collect friggin clowns? Dear god, get Stephen King on the phone we have a nightmare in the making. Kastaun has just landed herself in the Guinness Book of Records for having the largest clown collection in the world. She has so friggin many of the creepy creatures she had to move to a bigger house (hope it has a panic room lady!!!). Kastaun, a recovering alcoholic, credits her 2,053 creepy figurines on helping her stay sober.Seriously? I’d be sleeping with one eye open and maybe a baseball bat if I were you! Wanna see the collection? Click here if you dare!

Flying Circus

Oh no, my worst fears combined, flying and clowns. Avianova, a cheap Russian airline, has announced as part of its inflight service they are hiring clowns, actors and musicians to entertain the passengers during flights. Dear god, the last thing I need is a friggin clown honking it’s horn and squirting me in the face with water from a fake flower as I plummet to earth. Sheez and those big friggin shoes could hinder my chances of getting to an emergency exit.

You Shot Street Clowns?

OMG, two street clowns have been gunned down in Mexico by a drug cartel who thought they were army informers. The two clowns were found dead along the roadside still in their bright clown costumes and make-up. 15 other people were also killed overnight in Chihuahua as the drug violence continues to spiral out of control across Mexico . Authorities believe the Zetas gang are behind the clown deaths.

Friggin Clowns!

Couple of Bozos

Martina Obele has the best speed camera photo ever. Yes, her and a friend were snapped in  friggin clown suits on their way  to a party in Moerschwil, Switzerland. The moment the flash went off she thought ‘Shit – that’s going to look strange to the police’. You betcha , the cops were slightly amused but not enough to waiver the £110 speeding fine.

Psst See Loons, this is why clowns are illegal in Tampa!