Tag Archives: cobra

Snakes Alive

cobra 2You know what I hate? When you chop the head off a cobra to make soup and about half an hour later when you are taking the garbage out the bodiless snake bites you and you die. I really friggin hate that! A chef in China died after the head of a snake bit him while he was  carrying it out in the rubbish.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife

Man vs Wild

Boo!

OK loons, if I was bitten by a cobra I’d lay down and die (after I freaked a little) but not Mohamed Salmo Miya. The Nepalese farmer was so annoyed at the snake for biting him while he was working in the field, he chased it and then bit it to death. Miya told reporters ‘I could have killed it with a stick but I was mad with anger and wanted to take revenge. I killed it with my teeth.’  Hmm, might be some anger management issues there.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, That's Gotta Hurt

Stale Blood Transfusion

Riccardo “Cobra” Ricco, an Italian cyclist, is in hospital with kidney failure after he allegedly gave himself a blood transfusion with a three week old sample. Sheez, I wouldn’t even touch three week old bread for goodness sakes. Anywho, serious concerns are now being raised about “doping” within the Vacansoleil-DCM team. Ricco was banned from cycling for 20 months in 2008 after testing positive for a blood booster during the Tour de France and was on the comeback trail. If found guilty of doping Ricco may face three years jail.  He currently remains in a serious condition in hospital.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Wrong, Whoops!

Honey, I Wont Be Home For Dinner

Boo!

WTF Maryland residents, no need for alarm! A Maryland woman was minding her own bees wax in shopping center car park and noticed a stick on the ground. When she went to pick it up the stick bit her. Yep, that wasn’t no stick, that was a friggin cobra! See, I told you WTF. Evidently the 2ft monocled cobra took a liking to her finger and sunk his friggin fangs in it. Bravest woman in the world managed to bag the beast before hightailing it to the Baltimore clinic where they all pretty much said  WTF is that. After a major ring around to find someone who stocked friggin anti cobra venom, they had success.  All hail the Philadelphia Zoo who had a couple of vials of cobra anitvenom next to the hen’s teeth.

Psst Oh and for any of you who are the least bit concerned about the snake, he is safe and sound in his new abode at a zoo in Fredrick County. Oh yeah and the woman will live too. Win/win.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, That's Gotta Hurt, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Baby vs Cobra

No people, no. You don’t let your baby play with a friggin cobra, it only ends in tears!!! Lordie, lordie, lordie, here’s hoping the snake was defanged and milked or those parents make Janice look like a friggin saint!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Wildlife, Friggin Wrong, Well I Never