Tag Archives: coffin

Found

CoffinAttention good folk of Wisconsin, anyone missing a coffin? Seems it was found abandoned along a highway. Nope, no scratch marks on the inside, so we can count out a zombie. Anyone?

6 Comments

Filed under Well I Never

Spotify When You Die

Music streaming coffinOn the very slim chance that you can still hear when you die, a company in Sweden have created the perfect coffin. Introducing the CataCombo Sound System coffin, it comes equipped with two way speakers and a Spotify music account to stream songs into your grave. The awesome part is,  once you’ve gone,  friends can add songs to your playlist just incase you get bored hearing the same songs over and over again. How much I hear you mutter? Well, for a cool $30,000 it’s all yours.

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Filed under Well I Never

Daddy Can I Have A Glass of Water?

This is why you should keep the lid closed!

The scariest thing I’ve heard all day. Kelvin Santos, a two year Brazilian boy who had been declared dead, sat up in his coffin, asked his daddy for a drink of water, and then plonked back down dead again. Everybody scream and run! Kelvin’s family had gathered for the funeral and were saying their goodbyes when he  sat up in the open coffin. The father raced him back to the hospital to be reexamined but they simply confirmed he was dead. Despite delaying the funeral for a few hours the family later buried Kelvin.

Want sauce with that?

23 Comments

Filed under End Credit, Friggin Scary

Can You Hear Scratching?

Where the hell am I?

Oh for crying out loud people, how friggin hard is it to check a pulse before nailing a coffin shut, huh? Maria das Dores (88), who suffers from Alzheimer’s and blocked arteries had been declared by Brazilian doctors on the 22nd of December but funeral officials discovered she was breathing a few hours before being  buried alive. Sheez, I wonder how many friggin people aren’t so lucky?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!

Lee Harvey Oswald’s Coffin Anyone?

Holy magic bullet Batman, Lee Harvey Oswald’s pine  (but somewhat water damaged) coffin is up for auction. I know what you are thinking, but no, he’s not still in it.Sheez, as if the CIA would be so silly. Nope, this is the pine coffin he was originally buried in but later dug up  in 1981 after rumors spread that the body in the coffin was really a Soviet lookalike. Like we would get the truth either way. Anywho, when he was reburied he got himself a brand spanking new one.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Gross, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Death Just Got a Little More Fun

Imagine rocking up in one of these for your funeral? Sheez, why should death be so damn sad and boring when you can have yourself a blast with a  novelty coffin. I’m inclined to go for the cow!

Psst Hmm, hows about a keg coffin , where the drinks are on me?

9 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Two And A Half Years In A Coffin

What the? Indian biotechnology scientist, Rajab Killaker spent two and a half years locked in a coffin after he refused to give a family his bungalow. Hitesh Karavadra whacked Mr Killaker over the head with a baseball bat, kidnapped him, then kept him in a 6 foot 3″ coffin, only letting him out once a day for a meal. The poor man was only rescued after police received a tip off. Now Mr Killaker has laid charges against up to seven members of Mr Karavadra’s family.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Over My Dead Body

Ah, no thanks!

OMG, investigators in Naples are concerned that people are eating pizzas which have been baked using wood from coffins. Oh, ewh! Yep, authorities suspect  lower end pizza shop owners are using wood from old dug up coffins in their ovens. With grave digging now a booming business in Italy and especially Naples, the fear is thieves are now resorting to digging up coffins and then selling the pieces of wood to struggling pizza owners at cheap rates.

Psst Gives a whole new meaning to “Excuse me waiter, there is a hair in my pizza!”

6 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wrong, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

A Sad Ending To A Sad Ending

This wasn't how it was suppose to end!

Two sisters from Stockholm, Sweden are hoping to sue the group of drunk undertakers who accidentally dropped their father’s coffin on it’s side into the grave. And what I mean by dropped is, it landed with such a thud the two women ran crying and screaming from the cemetery fearing their father had fallen out of the casket. The two were in so much shock they aren’t even sure if the coffin was righted before it was covered or whether, if daddy had fallen out, he was put back in. Both sisters have been on sick leave ever since the incident.

Psst How did they manage to find a group of drunk undertakers?

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Until Death Do We Part

Not too sure if the in-laws would be amused but Pat Vincent decided to arrive at his wedding in a coffin. Yes, a coffin. Then after the ceremony he jumped back into the wooden casket and was transported by train to the reception. Of course he was British, sheez!

20 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never