What’s worse than having your house ransacked? Coming home to find the burglar’s on the couch having sex. Sheez, get a room. In the unfortunate owner’s words… “It’s like they just had a big ol’ nasty party.’ Worse still, while the owner was a way for a few days the burglar couple were seen flogging her jewellery. She has since set up a GoFundMe page which has managed to raise $10.
PSST: I hope she sold the couch.
No, I won’t take you to the dentist
You are 9 years old living in Ukraine. One day you discover your parents secret stash of money hidden in the couch. What do you do? Well, you take that $4,000 and you spend it on candy, that’s what. Every last hryvnas. But to alleviate most of the guilt you share the candy with your mates. Christmas is really gonna suck for you kid.
Egads, a man in Wisconsin has been arrested for having sex with an abandoned yellow sofa in a street. An off duty cop saw the man in full view with his pants down near his ankles humping the couch. The unfortunate dude now faces 9 months in jail and a $5,000 fine.
Psst Maybe it had a pair of nice cushions?
2nd Psst Word must be spreading Bearman because when Craig Berry sent me the story he added this little side note “Wisconsin is only a couple states away from Ohio, hmmmm.”
Oh for crying out loud, a man has been charged with battery after he allegedly folded a 66 year old woman into a couch. Seems Max Foreman, ex boyfriend of victim’s daughter, rolled up at the Palmetto house and pushed the woman onto a fold up couch and then closed it with her still inside.