Tag Archives: couch

Big Ol Nasty Party

What’s worse than having your house ransacked? Coming home to find the burglar’s on the couch having sex. Sheez, get a room. In the unfortunate owner’s words… “It’s like they just had a big ol’ nasty party.’ Worse still, while the owner was a way for a few days the burglar couple were seen flogging her jewellery. She has since set up a GoFundMe page which has managed to raise $10.

PSST: I hope she sold the couch.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross

Sorry Dad, I Thought It Was Loose Change

No, I won’t take you to the dentist

You are 9 years old living in Ukraine. One day you discover your parents secret stash of money hidden in the couch. What do you do? Well, you take that $4,000 and you spend it on candy, that’s what. Every last hryvnas. But to alleviate most of the guilt you share the candy with your mates. Christmas is really gonna suck for you kid.

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Filed under Friggin Wrong, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Sure It’s A Love Seat But That Is Taking It Literally

Egads, a man in Wisconsin has been arrested for having sex with an abandoned yellow sofa in a street. An off duty cop saw the man in full view with his pants down near his ankles humping the couch. The unfortunate dude now faces 9 months in jail and a $5,000 fine.

Psst Maybe it had a pair of nice cushions?

2nd Psst Word must be spreading Bearman because when Craig Berry sent me the story he added this little side note “Wisconsin is only a couple states away from Ohio, hmmmm.”

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Killer Snow Globes

Oo Oh, note to self, always remember to remove your snow globes from the window sill after Christmas or you might find your couch a burning  inferno. Just saying family from Milwaukie!!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Even Ghosts Do It!

Ewh, what’s worse than finding a ghost in your house? Finding two ghosts having sex on your couch! Dianne Carlisle’s 4 year old granddaughter snapped the apparition accidentally while playing  with her gran’s phone.

Psst Hmm, are you sure they are ghosts?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

You Gotta Know When To Hold Them

Oh for crying out loud, a man has been charged with battery after he allegedly folded a 66 year old woman into a couch. Seems Max Foreman, ex boyfriend of victim’s daughter, rolled up at the Palmetto house and pushed the woman onto a fold up couch and then closed it with her still inside.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

From The Comfort of Her Own Home

I was supplementing my income, damn you!

Oh for crying out loud granny, shouldn’t you be knitting or something? 88 year old Ola Mae Agee has been sentenced to 18 months in prison after she was busted selling crack cocaine to an undercover cop from her Florida home. Ms Agee, who has a long history of dealing, had the stash hidden down the back of her couch in her living room.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!