Tag Archives: council

Over His Dead Body

What up nanny state? When a grandfather requested to have “The little bugger did his best” on his gravestone his grandson wasn’t expecting the council response. Evidently they deemed it inappropriate language. Boo. The grandson said it was his granddad’s dying wish but the English council are adamant it won’t be allowed. They fear a member of the public may get offended.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Dummy Nominated For Aberdeen Council Seat

Helena Torry has been ditched as a Aberdeen council candidate because of false submission info. Seems Helena is actually a 5 ft mannequin nominated by her buddy, Renee Slater, who is now in big trouble. The pensioner, who nominated her mannequin to fight for equality for human beings and to give a voice to the silent minority, will now face trial for submitting false information. No word from Helena, who has been confiscated.

Psst Sorry no images as I am posting from my iPad.

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Filed under Friggin Councils, Friggin Hilarious

Taxpayers Roll Eyes At Council’s Stupidity

Big shout out to the Townsville City Council who hired contractors to mow artificial grass on a median strip.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Thanks For Nothing

Yes, About That Complaint You Made

OMG, there's someone at the door!!!!

Sleep with one eye open residents of Andover Estate in London, the Islington council have accidentally given your names and telephone numbers to those drug taking low lifes you’ve had banned from the estate. Whoopsie. About 51 people who complained about their drug taking, loud music and abusive behavior will be getting extra police patrols, thanks to the bungle.Hmm, lets just hope the thugs can’t read!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!

Friggin Spell Check

Oh for the love of spell check, a council in Kirklees has had to recall 7,000 of their pamphlets due to it’s friggin typos. The tourist brochure contained 50 spelling errors which included 20 misspellings of the district’s  name!!! The council are blaming the errors on an automated spell check used by the printer.

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Filed under Friggin Councils, Whoops!

Hiding a Cell Tower For Dummies

That should be nice!

Hmm, OK, I’ll play along. The township of Montclair are planning to build a cell tower and then disguise it as a turn of the century smokestack. That’s right guys, create a totally different kind of  eye sore that is only slightly more  aesthetically pleasing. Brilliant.  The townsfolk aren’t too happy about the 105ft tower being erected in the area because of potential health risks but council thinks if they disguise it as a smokestack they’ll forget it even exists! The deal is expected to bring in $2.5 million over the next 25 years. Hmm, so that’s like $100,000 a year. Geez, how much of that will be swallowed up in building the fake smokestack?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Councils, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Safety Service For Middle Aged Slipper Wearers

OK no, that's not the most efficient way of walking in bunny slippers!

How retarded do the Warwickshire County council think the over 50’s are? They have just spent thousands of pounds on some friggin service to show the “over the hill” brigade how to safely wear slippers. OMG, I swear I am not making this up. If you are like Duncan and have a crappy old pair of slippers just bring them on down and for £5 they will replace them with a nice pair of new Velcro fastening ones. But wait there’s more, included in the fee is a fitting session and advice on how to put them on and avoid accidents around the house.

Psst Geez, here’s hoping the Velcro doesn’t stick to the carpet and someone break’s their neck.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Councils, Friggin Nanny State, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Falk Off!

Family choose pig over town

Can we go to Disneyland?

How Much Do You Love Your Pig? Hmm, enough to move your entire family out of town? A Florida man who was told he had to get rid of Strawberry, the 300lb pet pot bellied pig, would rather get the hell out of town than give him up “the pig is like one of our children.”. Rob Falk was told by his local council the pig was in code violation. Evidently you can have only one pot bellied pig per household in Southwest Ranches (who knew?). So either the porker goes or the family does. Hmm, I wouldn’t  be so rash!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Councils, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

The Constant Gardener

Nanny State strikes again. A mother of two has been threatened with arrest because she pulled a dead flower from a council bed! Angie Summers the unlucky gardener was on her lunch break when she saw a withered canna lily and decided to pluck the sucker from the bed. Well blow me down with a feather didn’t someone dob her into the council. Next thing she knew the police were at her door threatening her with criminal charges.

Psst The case was eventually dropped but not before wasting taxpayers money. Bravo.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Nanny State, Thanks For Nothing

You Can’t Be Too Careful

Barbed wire banned because criminals might get hurtGardeners in the UK have been told they can’t use barbed wire to protect their allotments because vandals might hurt themselves. Despite property being damaged several times at the Muddy Bottom (I didn’t make that up!) East Allotment in Southampton, including attacks on sheds and taps left running, the council says that they are worried the criminals might sue if they injure themselves. Oh, but the old barbed wire around the entrance of the allotment can stay because that’s historical!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Nanny State, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never