Cow bro

A wayward calf got chauffeur driven to the Christchurch jail cell by police after he was found wandering the streets. After spending the night in jail, being hand fed milk, he was handed over to animal control for rehoming.

Bad Moo-ve

Two British fire crews were dispatched after word got out a cow was roaming around with a plastic lawn chair stuck on its head. Awks. Don’t fret loons, the embarrassed bovine managed to remove the offending furniture by itself.

Fairytale Fail

A cow who realised he was heading to the Cincinnati slaughterhouse decided to make a run for for freedom. He took off down the main drag with the golden arches in his sights. He was nearly at McDonalds when he was shot down in a hail of bullets. Oh well, no Big Mac and fries for him.

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Cows Pooping

The hills are alive with the sound of angry farmers. So you want cows to stop pooping on steep hills in Bavaria?  Hey honey, can you whip up a pair of enormous diapers for Doris? A German farmer who was a little pissed that the European Union want to ban cows from pooping on hillsides (something about nitrates in the dung affecting ground water) protested by putting an enormous nappy on his cow, Doris.

Sheep Are Just So Easy

I’m so glad I wasn’t a juror at this bestiality trial. The lot of them were told off by the judge for laughing. Evidently, the chuckles came after the man confessed he had sex with a sheep after a cow rejected his advances.

Want sauce with that?

While You Were Sleeping

You know what I hate? When you are fast asleep and an 11 and a half ton cow falls through your roof and kills you. I really friggin hate that. The cow had wandered down a hill and onto the roof which then gave way and landed on the man (narrowly missing his wife). Unfortunately, he died from internal injuries while waiting for treatment at the local hospital.

Psst Brazil

Cow Photobombs a Horse

Stop Looking

We break into normal transmission to let you know Yvonne the cow has been caught. Thought you’d like to know! OK, now how do you like your steak, medium or well down? Yvonne, dubbed  “freedom fighter for the animal loving German republic” has no idea she will be spending her days at Gut Aiderbichl animal sanctuary and not the slaughter house. That will be a nice surprise for the German cow, having spent three months hiding out in a Bavarian Forest trying to avoid becoming a slab of meat.

Psst Now I can defriend her on Facebook.

Yvonne The Cow Is Still Hiding in The Bavarian Forest

Yvonne the cow, has became and internet sensation after she bolted from a slaughterhouse and hid in a Bavarian forest. The cow has been on the run for three months and shows no signs of giving up. Hell, I wouldn’t either after police ordered the poor thing shot on sight after she leaped in front of  their car and they called her a “public hazard”. Despite  helicopters, infrared cameras and even a friggin “cow whisperer” the bovine has not been found (despite cow paddy sightings). Yvonne has been decribed as quick as a weasel and now has her own Facebook page.

And The Cow Jumped Over The Moon

This is what happens when your parents won’t let you get a  horse. When Regina Mayer’s parents said no to her getting a showjumping horse she saddled up one of the cows (Luna) on her parents dairy farm and set to work training it to jump.

Psst Story was brought to you by Al Jazeera (must have been a slow news day?)