Tag Archives: crematorium

It Was A Good Idea At The Time

OK, so if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Hmm, probably. So if a 800lb man turns up at a crematorium and you dismember him because he can’t fit in the oven, does that make it a crime? Well, technically no, according to police, but if the man’s family haven’t given permission, that’s a license suspension right there!!

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !

Body Heat

Guess what? The Worcestershire leisure center’s pool in England will soon be heated with energy from a nearby crematorium. Yep, that’s right, as bodies burn the water will warm. Good to know!!!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Friggin Fat Furnaces

Say it ain’t so, a crematorium in the West Midlands is building a fat furnace. Yes, thanks to the expanding girth of some, they have been forced to fit an extra wide furnace to help eradicate the embarrassing situation of extra large coffins getting wedged. Prior to the installation some funeral directors  had been forced to send bereaved families and coffins to Northampton (some 60 miles away) where they have supersize cremators. Oh and just so you know, West Midlands was recently voted the fattest place in the UK.

Psst So this got me wondering, how do Zoos dispose of the elephants when they die?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Good Grief!

This is what happens when you let an English council control a crematorium. A grieving mother who lost her son to cot death (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) was fined £86 because she took took too long grieving by the side of the tiny coffin. Geez, I didn’t even know you could get fined for that!What do they call it dawdling with a deceased? Terrie Rouse went from grief to shock when she discovered the council had charged her an extra 30 minutes because she went over her allotted time saying her final farewells to her son. This, despite the fact the next funeral was not scheduled for another 50 minutes.Added to the families anguish their son Zane had died five weeks prior but the funeral had to be delayed while they awaited autopsy results. The council have now refunded the extra fee.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Councils, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never