Tag Archives: croc

Feet Up Thailand

Oh dear, no need to panic people but about 100 crocs have escaped from a farm in central Thailand thanks to floodwaters. Authorities have told locals not to worry as most of them are only 1m long. Hmm, and the rest are??? I suggest sleeping with one eye open.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife

Croc On Plane

OK, here’s the thing fool, never, ever stow away a friggin live crocodile on a small aircraft, it will only end in tears and  death . A passenger on a flight from Kinshasa to Bandundu in the Democratic Republic of Congo is being blamed for the death of 19 people after he smuggled a croc on board. Sometime during the flight the friggin thing escaped by chewing it’s way through the sports bag it was in and you can pretty much guess the rest. Everybody panic. A horrified air hostess went screaming down the aisle to the cockpit the moment she spied the angry beast… followed closely behind by a  stampede of terrified passengers. The redistribution of weight in the aircraft then caused the plane to tip off balance and  flip over mid air. Now here’s the bitch,  the only two survivors from the flight, were a passenger (to retell the harrowing tale) and that damn croc. Unfortunately for the croc he was later cut up into itsy bitsy pieces by  rescuers.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

I Think It’s A Croc

Cue eyebrow raise. This photo of a Northern Territory  monster croc, believed to have been caught in the 1990’s , has been scaring the shit out of people on the net. Now, locals near Manangoora claim there is another friggin one,  just  like it, stealing their cattle. Hmm, I don’t loons, looks fake to me…or is that just wishful thinking?

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Filed under Friggin Scary, Friggin Wildlife, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Wanna Meet The Man Who Patted Fatso?

Introducing the fool who sat on Fatso, the 5m, 800kg saltwater crocodile, so he could give it a hug…

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife

Serial Killer Croc

Hello, my favorite movie is Chicago and I love Judy Garland

Wanted, one female crocodile, must be tough and take no shit from aggressive male suitors. Igor the croc has everything going for him, he is 4.62m long, young, virile and strong but he just can’t seem to keep his girlfriends. Nope, in fact the last two he dated , he killed. Hmm, pretty much in cold blood. Staff at the Darwin Crocodile farm have tried to reason with him but he just loves the thrill of the kill. So Igor is off to Sydney to pay his penance and live a life of celibacy. Bless his little heart.

Psst Maybe he doesn’t like women?

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Filed under Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!