How to Scare A Ghost

A family in India left a dead body rotting in their house to ward off ghosts. Shame it didn’t ward off the neighbors, who , having put up with  the stench for months, finally reported them to authorities. When police searched the house they found the decomposing body of a women in an upstairs room. Seems the entire family suffers from severe psychological problems so when their father and brother died some bright spark told them it was probably a ghost that scared them to death and the only way to stop the ghost was to leave a body in the house. So as fate would have it, when their sister died they left her in the house for 10 months. Terrible smell but no ghost. Happy Halloween Loons

We Have A Floater

Oh for crying out loud people. The dead body you saw floating down the river in Trent was not a dead body…I repeat NOT a dead body, it was a 73 year old lady . Sure she was  motionless and pale but when police went to fish her out she suddenly opened her eyes. No word on why she was floating around.

Unlucky For Him

When neighbors heard screaming coming from a house in New Zealand, they thought it was a domestic. Hmm, but they were wrong. The sound was coming from a burglar who had just stumbled across a dead body hanging in the house. The traumatized thief rang police who verified the owner of the house had committed suicide.

He Won’t Be Doing That Again

You know what I hate? When you see a car idling in a ditch with the windshield wipers on and decide to look for something to steal from it and find a dead body in the trunk. I really friggin hate that!!! Hmm, apparently so does the dude from Houston who discovered a man with a bullet hole in the head after he attempted to steal the speakers.

Body Found On Queen’s Estate

Human remains have been found on the Queen’s Sandringham Estate. Don’t worry, a royal head count has determined Fergie is still alive.

Want sauce with that?

Gramps Spontaneously Combusts

The coroner investigating the death of Michael Faherty (73), of Ballybane, Ireland, has declared it spontaneous combustion. Despite Mr Faherty found lying on his back  burned to a cinder next to an open fireplace, forensic experts have ruled out that  fire was the cause. The pensioner seems to have simply burst into flames leaving only minor damage to the area just beneath him and on the ceiling just above him.

Psst Hmm, maybe he got hit by a piece of space junk?

Dead Body On Roof

OK, here’s the thing minivan driver in Kansas, when you hit a man with your vehicle it’s courtesy to stop, NOT continue driving with the dead man on your roof. I’m just saying!  It is alleged Mohamed Sarrafizadeh hit the lawn mowing contractor as he was using a weed wacker along a street. The impact sent the victim flying onto the windshield and then up onto roof which had a luggage rack on top. Horrified motorists contacted police when they saw the body.  Sarrafizadeh was charged with leaving the scene of an accident.

Psst It’s now been confirmed the man driving the van was a doctor!

Miracles Do Happen, Just Not This Time

A man in Wichita, Kansas, spent a week living with the body of his dead fiance hoping if he prayed hard enough she might come back to life. Sadly, the miracle didn’t happen. Police discovered the body of the woman in bed after relatives became concerned about her. Police believe there are no suspicious circumstances surrounding her death.

I See Dead People

Did you hear the one about the ....

Oh for crying out loud people, sleeping with a corpse is gross, telling jokes while she rots, friggin bizarre. Kiwi Gordon Hiett told the court he strangled his Thai sex worker girlfriend, Nuttidar Vaikaew, after an argument and then popped her in bed next to him. Then for the next month he lived with the rotting corpse, using an electric fan to minimize the stench. During this time Hiett cheered himself up he reading jokes to himself . The body was discovered after the landlord noticed the foul odor coming from his apartment.

Over My Dead Body

You sure do pong today, Missy!

OK, here’s the thing lady, if a homeless woman dies in your car, don’t friggin leave her in there for months, she’ll friggin stink. A woman in California was caught by police with a mummified body in her car. She explained that she had let the homeless woman use her car to sleep in but when she died she panicked…. thus the stinking , mummified body propped up in the passenger seat. Police believe the body could have been in the car for up to 10 months.