What The Hell Is On My Banana?

You know what I hate? When you are about to chomp into a banana then realise the funny white spots on it are actually dozens of venomous Brazilian wandering spiders hatching in front of your eyes. I really friggin hate that. So does the woman from Britain who nearly ended up dead. According to the Guinness World Records they are the most toxic Arachnid in the world. Unaware that her house was now a nest for the Brazilian creatures, she returned the bananas to Sainsbury supermarket. It was only after she sent a photo to the pest control man did she discover what was now “wandering” around her house. Exit stage left with hubby and kids. Despite the house being thoroughly fumigated she continies to sleep with one eye open.

Move Over Zombies We Have Braining Eating Parasites

Everyone out of the Willow Springs Water Park in Arkansas, seems there is a nasty brain eating parasite living there. The amoeba likes hanging around warm water and soil and getting into people’s heads. A young girl is currently fighting for her life after swimming at the park.

What Your Mother Never Told You

Nasty!!!

OK, I knew it, I friggin knew those nasty little brussels sprouts were deadly. Just ask the poor  man from Ayrshire who was hospitalized for eating too many.  Seems those horrid little bitter mini cabbages contain vitamin K which promotes blood clotting. So don’t be feeding them to anyone with a dodgy ticker unless of course you want gramps inheritance early.

Might Want To Cancel Travel Plans To Uganda

Just when you thought it was safe to go to Uganda, officials have announced another deadly outbreak of the Ebola virus. So far the contagious disease has claimed 14 lives. If you happen to be in the vicinity here’s what to do, avoid shaking hands, casual sex or do-it-yourself burials because it’s  transmitted by close contact and there is NO treatment.

Deadly Pet Escapes

Feet up Queenslanders, there is a King Cobra on the loose on the Gold Coast. Veteran snake catcher Tony Harrison received an anonymous call from a bloke concerned his escaped snake would attack someone. Initially Mr Harrison thought he was talking about a King Brown but the caller corrected him.  Oh for crying out loud , haven’t we got enough scary wildlife down under?

Psst Might want to sleep with both eyes open!!!

I Thought Airbags Were A Safety Device?

No need to panic people, but those friggin airbags in your car are deadly. A British man died after inhaling the fumes from his airbag after being involved in a minor accident.The kaboom triggered the airbag, which broke a window, that cut the bag and he breathed in the chemicals. Two months later he was dead from a lung infection.

Want sauce with that?

RIP Phoebe Snow

Remember Phoebe Snow the singer of the 70’s and 80’s? Sadly she has passed away at the age of 60 from complications of a stroke yesterday. Best remembered for her hit Poetry Man and Every Night, Snow gave birth to a daughter with severe brain damage in 1975 and stopped touring to take care of her full time.Her daughter wasn’t expected to live beyond childhood but lived until 2007. Snow continued to release albums throughout thr 80’s and 90’s and was planning to go back into the recording studio before her stroke.

As If We Haven’t Got Enough To Worry About

OK, no need to panic people BUT tests have found recycled cardboard boxes used by companies such as Kelloggs contain deadly chemicals.Seems it’s the toxic mineral oils in printing ink from recycled newspapers that is the culprit . Damn thing can get into foods even through those inner plastic bags. These oils can cause inflammation of the internal organs and cancer. Cereal, pasta, rice anything in a friggin recycled box is potentially deadly. Step away from the cornflakes!!!

Want sauce with that?

Mold Maybe The Culprit In Brittany Murphy’s Death

No need to panic but it seems the Los Angeles Department of Public Health are investigating whether a nasty case of mold was responsible for the death of Brittany Murphy and her Hubby Simon Monjack. Seems the mold in Murphy’s house could have attacked their respiratory systems resulting in the pneumonia which eventually claimed their lives. Dear god, where’s the friggin spray and wipe?

Friggin Methanol

OK, here’s the thing bootleg man, using methanol in your brew is gonna get you in big doodah especially if it ends up killing 22 people and making 300 really ill. Dude, how much of the stuff did you make? Indonesian police have arrested the unnamed man who had been selling his homemade liquor for $1.40 a litre. Hmm and not to be outdone authorities in Uganda are still trying to find the culprit who’s homemade gin  has managed to kill 80 people.Yes, his lethal brew also contained methanol.

Psst Methanol is usually used as a solvent or in antifreeze.