Silly Sausage

Do you know the quickest way to get deported from Kyrgyzstan? Well, if you are a Scottish mine worker, posting that their national dish looks like a horse penis on Facebook will do it. Yes, the Scottish worker was arrested and then given his marching orders after posting a photo of his co-workers lining up for their chuchuck sausage and including the horse penis reference. Evidently, he was lucky to have dodged a 5 year jail sentence for race hate.

Should Have Played Craps

You know what I hate? When you win $1,200 on the slot machine and the Arizona casino manager asks for ID but discovers you are an illegal alien so contacts police who promptly deport you and your daughter back to Mexico. I really friggin hate that! On the bright side, the casino told Ms Valenzuela she could collect her winnings if she shows up in person with a valid ID.

Psst Why didn’t she say she was a tourist?

Fruitcake Stalker

Leave me alone!!!

OK, this tale is about a lovestruck Turkish sailor, who was so obssessed with a British woman whom he met in 2005, that he jumped into his tiny yacht and spent 8 months at sea sailing around Europe in a quest to reach Britain to find her. During his journey he battled stormy seas and was arrested numerous times before he finally set sight on the shores of England. Unfortunately, before he could sail into port he was picked up by border patrol and promptly told he was going to be deported.

OK, now her side of the story. She served the man only once when she was working briefly in a cafe in Cyprus in 2005. He managed to steal her name and phone number from the cafe and began harassing her. At one stage he showed up again at the cafe with a knife. He was arrested and deported. She fled in terror back home to Liverpool where she eventually married. Meanwhile the man, who was still obssessed, managed to find her on Facebook to which she promptly blocked him. He then set up a blog where he continued to profess his love for her ‘The world is not beautiful without you’.. The poor girl’s family and friends began leaving comments on his blog calling him a “fruitcake stalker” and begging him to leave her alone as she was happily married.  But alas, a heart knows what a heart wants. That’s when he jumped in his little boat and set sail.

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from a Turkish port
Aboard a tiny ship.

The dude was a love struck sailing man,
Whose obssession was so sure.
That he had to set sail that day
For a eight month tour, a eight month tour.

Want sauce with that?

A Star Is Deported

Praq Rado, an Albanian born actor who had been living illegally in the US for 11 years, was on his way to the premier of a movie about his life in America ( “Dreaming America” ), when he was nabbed by Federal immigration officers. Oh dear, now he is waiting to be deported. Well, on the bright side he now has content for a sequel.

Pakistan Wipes Its Hands

Pakistan have booted 12 of Bin Laden’s family members out of the country, including three wives widows. They have all been deported back from whence they came.  Well, its not like they have a reason to stay!

I’m Just Saying

Not so lucky in the US huh?

Scott Zirus the West Australian scout leader who pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting 3 young boys in Texas while on a international exchange program was handed down a 40 year sentence (eligible for parole in 20). Had he not accepted a plea deal he would have faced the possibility of spending life behind bars. Take note Australia, you’d be lucky to get that for murder here! When Mr Zirus completes his jail sentence  he’ll immediately be deported back to WA to face similar charges against four other victims discovered after a police  investigation following his US arrest. Hmm, no doubt he’ll have it a lot more lenient (if he’s convicted at all!)

Damn Friggin Traditions!

Okie dokie, here’s the thing affectionate father, taking photos of you kissing your 9 month old son on the head, ear and forehead is OK, but also taking photos of you kissing his buttocks and genitals, well that’s gonna get you in trouble. Sergio Diaz-Palomino, who was dobbed into police by a photo-processing employee, claimed the snaps  were simply the way their traditional family photos are taken and were in no way pornographic.Fortunately for Diaz-Palomino the sexual abuse charges were dropped, unfortunately he and his partner will now be deported because they are both illegal immigrants from Mexico. When it rains, it pours.