Tag Archives: Detroit


A word of warning good people of Detroit, if you go atomic and kill your friend with a Crock-Pot that is 23 years in prison. Just saying.


Filed under Sore Loser, Whoops!

A Bridge Too Far

embarrassedStop looking people the bridge has been found. Yep, the 2.5 ton wood and steel bridge that kapoofed from a property in Detroit has been found, I repeat, has been found. The structure was discovered some 30 miles away. Police still have no idea who stole it or why. Oh well, the owner will just have to get over it.


Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Howdy Doody’s Future Uncertain

What time is it? Howdy Doody sale time. The fall out from Detroit being broke is that Howdy Doody, the famous marionette, may have to be sold. The puppet , which is owned by the city of Detroit, is considered a valuable asset and might have to be sold to help cover their $18 billion debt.


Filed under Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Detroit City Now A Ghost Town

Detroit City files for bankruptcyOh no, not even Robocop can save Detroit now, the whole friggin city is bankrupt? OMG, what does that even mean? Hmm, well for starters, they can’t afford to pay anyone a dime. Nope, and forget pensions.They are in about $17 billion dollars worth of debt and filing bankruptcy is the only way out. Egads. Hmm, well if everyone in the world sent them a dollar … oh never mind, they’d still be 10 billion dollars in debt.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Detroit A No Go Zone For Tourists

Calling Robo Cop, Robo Cop to the front counter please. Police in Detroit have warned visitors to the city that they should “enter at their own risk” unless of course they want to buy a tee saying “I survived Detroit with just a flesh wound” . The Police say they have no choice but to warn visitors not to enter, as they can’t guarantee they can protect anyone as violence  escalates and their force  rapidly shrinks.  Officers are evidently leaving in droves due to the 12 hour shifts and low pay. Yikes!!! Hmm, Rudy Giuliani, Rudy Giuliani to the front desk too!!!!!


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Stand Up And Take A Bow Joshua Smith

Remember 9 year old Joshua Smith from Detroit, who decided to set up a lemonade stand to raise money for the city? Well bless his little heart, he has just presented a check to city officials for the grand sum of $2,832.64. What a champion!


Filed under Friggin Awesome

When Life Gives You Lemons

Stand up and take a bow Joshua Smith. This 9 year old Detroit boy has set up a lemonade stand on the side of the road so he can help his city recover from that damn economic crisis. All proceeds from the sale of his lemonade and snacks will go to the city of Detroit, despite Mayor Dave Bing suggesting half should go to Joshua’s college fund. His parents responded with “It would be disingenuous of us to have people come by to make donations under one premise and then turn around and use the money for our own gain,” After Joshua’s story received press coverage, donations have been coming in from around the US.


Filed under Friggin Awesome, Well I Never

Bomb Scare At Detroit McDonalds

McDonald’s patrons were forced to leave their Big Macs and fries and exit stage left after a suspicious looking bottle with wires protruding from it was found in the bathroom of a Detroit store. Staff evacuated everyone fearing it was a bomb and called the cops. The bomb squad was later seen exiting the building with a brown paper bag (Hmm, Maccas to go?). No word on what the suspicious looking object was but I’m guessing it was a bong !


Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Smoking Can Cause Your Nipples to Fall Off

Whoops, what just fell?

A plastic surgeon in Detroit is warning women who have breasts lifts, smoke and your nipples could fall off. Seriously!!! Evidently nicotine and carbon monixide found in smoke can work together to hinder blood flow. So in other words they could turn black and drop off. Dr Anthony Youn warns all his patients to quit or face the consequences. In one particular case he had to use leeches to save his patients tits when they began turning purple. Evidently leeches are brilliant at sucking out the old blood to increase blood flow. Hmm, there is no way I would want a leech hanging off my…ah never mind, fortunately I don’t smoke!


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Jets Scrambled For Sex Romp in Airplane Toilet

Umm, about that air emergency over Detroit, seems a couple were bonking in the toilets. As you were F-16 fighter jets, as you were. The pilot wasn’t taking any chances when crew notified him that three passengers were going back and forth to the toilet. Two fighter jets were scrambled and the plane was escorted to Detroit Airport.  When the plane landed the couple were still in the toilet.

Psst 9/11…really????



Filed under How Embarrassing, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!