Tag Archives: DNA Match

Wanker In The Workplace

OMG, OMG, OMG, Michael Lallana has been charged with jerking off into a female colleague’s bottle of water TWICE and each time the poor soul drank it. Ewh, ewh, ewh. It is believed Mr Lallana snuck into the woman’s office and masturbated into her water bottle which was on the desk. She told police after drinking from the bottle she had felt sick and had thrown it away. The second time it happened she kept the bottle and had it tested. I suspect she went a little pale when told the water contained semen. After a DNA check of staff  Mr Lallana was arrested.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wrong, Well I Never

Didn’t I tell You To Wear Clean Undies?

Ewh, ewh, ewh, authorities in Washington State have used DNA from a pair of undies left at a burglary to solve the crime. You gotta hate that friggin DNA database huh? Anywho, the underpants, which were left behind along with shoes and pants, came up a perfect match for some dude who was already in jail on other burglary charges. Hmm, just add this to the list!

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Gross, How Embarrassing, Whoops!