So This Is What It’s Finally Come To?

Owners at an Ohio apartment complex are so pissed at residents who fail to pick up their dogs doo-doo they are using DNA testing to find the culprits. Yes indeedy, the offending feces will be scooped up and sent to the  ‘Poo Prints’ DNA program for identification and then the owners will then be fined $200. Pity the fool with that job!

Dog Poop Dispute Turns Deadly

OK, one more time people, you do not shoot your neighbor dead after he complains about your dogs shitting all over the neighborhood. I’m just saying.

Want sauce with that?

Stink Ink

My, that is large!

Oh my, a warning to anyone who allows “artist discretion” when getting a tattoo. Make sure he doesn’t tattoo a big pile of steaming dog poo on your back with flies buzzing around it. I’m just saying! Poor Rossie Brovent from Ohio asked her then tattoo artist boyfriend to tattoo a scene from the Narnia trilogy on her back, unaware that he had discovered she had cheated on him with his best friend. Hmm, now she has a big pile of excrement for her troubles. She is now suing him.

Psst Wasn’t that a scene from Narnia? Hmm, maybe not!

No Colorado, There Is No Poop Fairy

Attention people in Colorado, the Jefferson County would like to remind their residents that there is no “Poop Fairy” thank you very much! Meaning? Owners of dogs….clean up your own shit OK!!!

Special Delivery

A US postal worker will not be disciplined after she knocked on the door of her neighbor Bruce Michaud and gave him a special delivery….a bag full of dog poop. Toni Llauger was peeved that Mr Michaud continued to “mime the actions” of picking up his dog’s shit when he was really just leaving it where it lay to smolder away. Fed up, Miss Llauger collected a few samples and made a personal delivery to his door. Unfortunately it was in her postal uniform , fortunately she was off duty at the time. Luckily for her, she got to keep her job but was told next time she decided to deliver shit she should do it in her own clothes .

Well At Least She Didn’t Rub Their Face In It!

Ah shit, an Illinois woman has been arrested after it was alleged she smeared dog poop all over her neighbor’s patio after she accidentally stepped in it. Susan Miller was decidedly pissed when she discovered she had shit on her shoe, so proceeded to plastered it over the dog owner’s patio along with a sign asking residents to clean up after their dogs and a pile of dog poop bags.

Fined For Picking Up The Wrong Poop

That ain't your shit lady!

The dog poop police are seriously out of control in Britain. A granny was fined £50 after she was caught picking up the wrong dog poop. Yes, Pam Robson had been out walking her Labrador Derik, when he ran off and relieved himself. Mrs Robson, being a good dog poop scooper citizen, immediately picked up Derik’s mess. Next thing she knows a Sunderland Council warden approached her and “He said it was the wrong mess and that he was going to issue me with a fine for £50.” Despite Mrs Robson then picking up her own dog’s mess he still fined her. With the help of a local MP and a solicitor she eventually had the fine over turned. Another fine mess!!!!

Shit Happens

Hurry up Fido, I need to go!

A word of warning to all residents of Baltimore’s Scarlett Place who are letting their dogs shit all over the place without scooping it up, they are on to ya.There is a plan underway to have all the dogs DNA tested in the upscale address so they can  catch the culprit/s and it’s owner/s then fine their sorry asses. You think I jest? Next week the condo board will vote to make it mandatory to have all pooches DNA tested.

There Is A God

Enjoy, you little shit!

The best dumbass thief story you’ll hear all week. Some bag snatching fool on a bicycle whizzed passed an elderly woman in Tarring and snatched the bag she was carrying. Little did he know the bag contained dog poo. Yep, it was the bag she was using to clean up her dog’s shit. Pensioner 1, In for a shock thief 0.

The Hazards Of Being A Dog Owner

Here's a visual !

A woman who didn’t clean up her dog’s poop got a nasty surprise when a man picked it up for her and then rubbed it in her hair. The woman from Silkeborg in Denmark claims she was walking her dog home after shopping when an elderly man went ballistic, claiming her dog had shat in his garden. Next thing she knows, he’s got her by the hair and rubbing the shit in it. Dog 1, Old dude 1, Smelly dog owner 0.

Psst Mr Mills was unavailable for comment!