Tag Archives: domestic violence

I’m going to kill you, you’re dead!

When police received reports that a man was heard shouting ‘I’m going to kill you, you’re dead! Die, die’ followed by the haunting screams of a woman, and the sound of furniture being thrown, they sped to the scene. When they arrived, an out of breath, flushed face man answered the door. They soon discovered that the commotion was not a domestic violence incident at all but a single man trying to kill a spider. Despite telling the bewildered police it was a “really big one”, they asked to check the apartment to be sure and found 1 very dead spider and 1 empty can of mortein. OK loons, you are probably wondering about the woman screaming? Hmm, well he told police ‘Yeah sorry that was me, I really, really hate spiders.’

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious

Basil is The Domestic Battery Herb of Choice

Oh for crying out loud throwing a potted basil plant at your hubby during a fight over his cooking is a domestic battery charge, lady! When Andrea Antoine-Pierre waltzed through the door of her Forida home it seemed like the perfect picture of wedded bliss. There was her husband in the kitchen making dinner. Hmm, but then something went terribly wrong. When Andrea asked what meat he was using all hell broke loose. Seems they had differing opinions about what type of meat should be used for the dish. At some stage hubby walked about from the screaming Andrea and that’s when the basil plant came flying through the air and smashed into his left shoulder. I’m assuming the dinner was spoiled because she was carted away by police.

Psst Still no word on what he was making or what meat he was using!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, They Live Among Us !

Little Snowflake Arrested For Throwing Toy Gun

Well little snowflakes take heed, a 11 year old girl who threw a toy gun at her father has been charged with domestic violence. Yes indeedy, the girl who had been fighting with her younger brother over a chair kaboomed her dad in the head with the gun after being sent to her room. Hell yes there was blood and a laceration. That will be a date in juvenile court for you young missy.

Psst I wouldn’t be holding your breath for a decent Father’s Day prezzie.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, Whoops!

Pissed, Pissed and Really Pissed

Deanne Elsholz and David Elsholz had a few too many to drinks and went to sleep it off in their mobile home in Florida. However nature called for David and he staggered off to the toilet to take a leak. Hmm, only thing was he missed the bowl and pissed on the floor. All the time Deanne could hear the misfiring and went to tell him off. When she confronted him he threw a towel at her head so she picked up a glass and threw at his nose sending a river of blood flowing down his chest and arms. She then claims she ran into the bathroom and slipped on his pee. While she was down hubby  kicked her in the ribs. It was a toss up but police believed Mr Elsholz side of the story, that his missus chucked a glass at his face. She was arrested for domestic battery, a charge hubby has face twice before.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Gross, Friggin Hilarious, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Victims Of Domestic Violence

Quick alert the authorities, those friggin sea lion bitches are at it again. It is always the innocent ones that get hurt!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!