What Are The Chances?

OK people, when giving a false name to police be really careful that the name you give doesn’t belong to a guy with a “breaching bail conditions” arrest warrant. Just saying. When a Kiwi driver was pulled over by the cops he decided to give a fake name to avoid being busted for driving while disqualified, unfortunately the name he gave was in the system and he was immediately thrown in jail. It was only while appearing in court under the other guys charges that police realized it wasn’t the right person.

Paying Road Tolls is for Losers

Sure, you want to avoid paying a road toll, who doesn’t, but seriously mister, driving across the frozen Yellow River instead of coughing up 30 cents is insane I say, insane! It took the cheapskate  10 minutes to cross the ice creaking river but he sure as hell succeeded. Suck it toll gate payers.

The river nearly ran through it!

Punishment Complete

Remember the woman who was ordred by a judge to hold up a sign as punishment for driving on the sidewalk to avoid waiting for a school bus to move? Yeah her. Well, she’s done it!

AP

Fifty Shades Of Grey Driver

Naughty boy

It’s bad enough when a truck pulls up next to you while you’re naked and masturbating in your car , but even worse when the arresting officer finds a toy pistol sticking up your butt and another contraption tied to your genitals. I think you should put Fifty Shades of Grey down right now mister!!!!

I Thought Airbags Were A Safety Device?

No need to panic people, but those friggin airbags in your car are deadly. A British man died after inhaling the fumes from his airbag after being involved in a minor accident.The kaboom triggered the airbag, which broke a window, that cut the bag and he breathed in the chemicals. Two months later he was dead from a lung infection.

Want sauce with that?

Death by Flying Deer Parts

Some poor woman In Pennsylvania has been killed by flying deer parts. Yes, it’s true. She was driving along minding her own bees wax when parts of a deer flew threw her window. The deer had been struck by another vehicle when kaboom, splat.

Topless Woman Runs Amok

Attention all loons living on the Gold Coast, be on the lookout for a topless woman causing mayhem on the roads at Burleigh Heads. So far she has caused three accidents due to her erratic driving.Police have yet to release a photo.

Driver Accidentally Shoots Himself In BOTH Legs

OMG, Justin Newberry was minding his own beeswax while driving down the Interstate 24 when he put his foot on the brakes to slow for traffic and his handgun (known as “the Judge”) slid out from under the seat. This is where it gets a little ugly. When Newberry leaned down to pick it up he grabbed it by the trigger and kaboom! The darn thing went off. The slug went right through his right thigh and hit him in the left leg just above the ankle. Bet he couldn’t do that again if he tried! Anywho, he managed to ring 911 and they flew him to hospital. In the meantime the police found marijuana and drug paraphernalia in the car. Bummer!

Not Your Time

Well I’ll be. A woman in Buenos Aires had had enough with life so jumped off a 23rd floor hotel balcony (some 328ft) . Fortunately a taxi roof broke her fall (and her hips and ribs) but she is going to be OK, not happy, but OK. Doctors say the fact she landed in the seated position saved her life. Hmm, that will be one bruised bum. Meanwhile the taxi driver must be thanking his lucky stars he saw a policeman looking up, prompting him to get out of the car, or he would have been squashed.

Didn’t See That One Coming!

Watch out for the…ah never mind. You just never know what’s around the next corner!

Psst They are some set of man boobs!