Tag Archives: drug cartel

Bravest Woman in Mexico Is A Chicken

Hey loons, remember Marisol Valles Garcia the 20 year old college student who was hired as police chief because everyone else quit? Yeah her. Well anywho, she’s fled. Seems those drug cartel death threats work. Garcia took up the most dangerous job on earth after candidates pulled out due to the gunning down of  the Mayor of  Praxedis G. Guerrero and her son.  Oh and guess what? It’s rumored she’s fled to the US of A seeking asylum. Attagirl, they won’t get ya there!


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Back To The Drawing Board

Every friggin day!

OK the irony is subtle but you can probably see it… 7 people have been killed after gunmen opened fire with automatic weapons during a soccer match in an “anti-violence” park in the Mexican border city of Ciudad Juarez. The park was built three months ago as part of the “Live Better- Todos Somos Juarez” (We’re All Juarez) program.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Drug Cartel Gets All Touchy-Feely

Well the good people of Mexico can breath easy this month after the La Familia drug cartel announced it was taking a month off. Yes, no more murders, decapitations, drug trafficking or kidnappings for a whole month. Seems the cartel are pissed that they are getting the blame for all the mayhem and murders in the country. In a one page letter, which was distributed by email and in some cities door by door, they state they will have a one month truce to prove the cartel “is not responsible for the criminal acts federal authorities are reporting to the media.” Sheez, your noses just poked me in the eye!! What friggin PR firm did they hire?


Filed under Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Not A Great Career Move

Hmm,  Marisol Valles Garcia (20) must be packing her daks after taking  on the role of Police chief in a drug cartel ridden town in Mexico. Seems another female police chief, Hermila Garcia, has  just been gunned down after two months in a similar job.



Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit, I'm Just Saying !

I Quit

Lordie, lordie, lordie, you know it’s time to get out of town when the entire police force quit after being attacked by friggin drug cartel gunmen. Yes sirree, all 14 police officers from the town of Los Ramones in Mexico handed in their badges after a drug gang  opened fire on their headquarters. Sheez, $322 a month ain’t worth dying for. During the attack over 1,000 bullets were fired and 6 grenades were flung at the building. Despite no injures, 6 police vehicles were destroyed. So how does a town without police work? Sheez, it’s enough to make you go on drugs!



Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Everything Is Bigger In Texas

A drug cartel is believed to behind the murder of 72 illegal immigrants found on a ranch in Texas near the Mexican border. The lone survivor who stumbled wounded to a checkpoint on the highway told his story of woe to marines manning the post. Police later found the bodies of 58 men and 14 women. The man claims he was kidnapped by an armed gang who demanded extortion money. Authorities suspect the gang was the notorious Zetas drug cartel who control the area. Hmm, since when have a drug cartel controlled parts of Texas ?


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit, I'm Just Saying !

Over My Dead Body

OMG, Cancun is becoming known as much for it’s “bodies in wells” as it is for it’s great holiday destination. Police have found another 12 decomposed bodies at the bottom of 4 wells near the Cancun International Airport. Authorities believe they are just more dumbassed drug dealers. Hmm, which makes it  a total of  72 bodies hauled out of several wells in Cancun in  the past few weeks.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Heartless Drug Cartel

Ewh ah, police in Cancun have discovered six dead bodies in a cave near a popular (hmm, maybe past tense now) resort. Three of the victims had their hearts removed and three  had the letter “Z” carved into their abdomens. Oh boy, authorities believe the “Z” may stand for the Zeta drug gang, one of  the many drug cartels who scare the living beejeesus out of Mexicans.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, End Credit, Friggin Scary, Well I Never

You Used Which Toilet?

OK people, building a tunnel under a fake toilet from Mexico to the US border was a smart idea, because lets face it, that would be the last place white people would look. But unfortunately the drug cartel’s little plan backfire when it was only 50m from US territory. Oh shit, so close! Thirteen construction workers were busted during the raid by federal police. The 270m long tunnel was 20 m deep and had taken two years to construct. The toilet, which was located in a storage facility, had a hydraulic mechanism which allowed it to move. The tunnel itself was equipped with phone line, electricity and air conditioning. Geez, these drug cartel people think of everything.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Mom Becomes Narc To Reduce Hubby’s Jail Sentence

Mom single handedly brings down drug gang

Tu friggin comprendes

What would you do if your hubby  was sent to  prison for 15 years for selling methamphetamine out of his mechanic shop and his kids were constantly crying and whining about missing him. Hmm,  I know what I would do and it wouldn’t involve ringing  the Omaha Police Department and begging to become an informant in exchange for reducing hubby’s sentence. The Spanish speaking mom convinced the Omaha narcotic unit to allow her to work undercover in an extremely dangerous drug gang in exchange for getting her husband a reduced sentence. And guess what? After 7 months of  washing their clothes, doing drug runs and basically building trust, she singlehandedly brought down the drug ring . In the end Omaha police seized 13 pounds of methamphetamine worth an estimated $500,000 and arrested 11 people on drug and gun charges. The woman, who cannot be named for friggin obvious reasons, said “She did what she did for her children.”

Psst Geez, I bet her kids eat all their peas!!!!

2nd Psst You can read all about her heroism at Omaha.com


Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never, You Go Girl!