Tag Archives: drug mule

Latin American Idol Winner Fail

The winner of  2009 “Latin American Idol” , Martha Heredia, has been busted for attempting to smuggle 2.9lbs of heroin into New York in the heels of her platform shoes. Hmm, makes for a good country song.

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Filed under Sore Loser, Whoops!

Granny Drug Mule Faces Firing Squad

One more time people, DO NOT  smuggle drugs into Indonesia for crying out loud. A British granny is now facing the firing squad after getting caught with $2.5 million worth of cocaine in Bali. Despite prosecutors wanting a 15 year prison stint, she has now got herself a death sentence, thanks to a non amused judge. In handing down the sentence the judge said she had damaged the image of Bali as a tourism destination (and like shooting her won’t either?)  and weakened the government’s anti-drugs program.  In her defence Lindsay June Sandiford  claims she only did the drug run because the kingpins had threatened to hurt her kids.

Psst Clearly she ain’t no drug lord, just a very silly woman.

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Filed under Friggin Scary, Well I Never

Drug Mule Fool

I swear man, no druggie , no lie!

Holy dumbass drug mule Batman. Fidelis Ozouli has got to be the stupidest friggin drug smuggler in the world or the most naive. He claims he didn’t have a clue that the 67 packages he swallowed for a mate were full of drugs, let alone cocaine. Drug fool was hiding 1kg of the class A in his gut when he was sprung at Manchester airport. Ozouli stuck out like dog’s balls as he waddled through customs with a hell unnaturally bloated belly. After x-rays, Ozouli took out the prize for one of the largest amount of drugs found internally on any mule by UK customs (well, that’s something right?). The cocaine was 78% pure , had a street value of £250,000 and if one of them had burst he would have been a dead man walking. When questioned, he looked dumbfounded saying ‘I just did not know what they were. I thought I was swallowing something else to take into Britain as a favour for a pal.’ Dude, what are you, friggin thick? Ozouli is from Nigeria but was , until now, studying in London. Oh well, I guess he will be able to finish his degree in jail, compliments of the British taxpayers!

Psst : Luckily he didn’t insert the packages up him bum, nothing more unattractive than a man with a fat ass, right girls?

2nd Psst Geez, I hope he isn’t related to those Nigerian friends of mine…ooh which reminds me, I gotta send them my accounts details !

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Filed under Denial, Friggin Dumbass, Join the skeptic club!, They Live Among Us !