Tag Archives: drug smugglers

Drug Smugglers Use Hair Extensions

Yes officer?

Attention drug smugglers, hair extensions and wigs maybe the new cocaine smuggling tool of choice but seriously, you have got to get those bulges sorted. Just ask the two women caught at New York Airport with over 35 ounces each concealed on their scalps under their dos. It was their unsightly bulges that gave them away.

2 Comments

Filed under Well I Never, You Go Girl!

Why Is Everyone Reading Bedtime Stories?

Oh for crying out loud you friggin drug dealing crims, how desperate do you have to be to get someone to send you a  children’s coloring books saturated in narcotic drugs to the Cape May County Correctional Center? Hmm,quite. Who knew  Suboxone could be turned into a paste and plonked onto the pages of a kiddies book. Well the correctional officers for starters. The package sent to the inmate was addressed “To Daddy” and featured drawings of Cinderella and Snow White. It fooled no one and now five inmates have new charges on their resumes!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

Smell Before You Buy

This is some good shit!

Attention people of Arizona, you might want to think twice before taking another puff on your joint. Seems smugglers may be using sewer pipes to transport marijuana from Mexico to the US. Two feces covered bales of marijuana were discovered on a rope feeding into the system following a complaint about a clogged sewer.

Psst Dear lord, have none of you smugglers heard of a plastic bags ?

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Incoming!!!!

If first you don’t succeed, think middle ages. Drug smugglers have been caught on surveillance cameras catapulting packs of cannibis over the Mexican border into the US. Atta boys.The fun ended after the Naco Border Patrol Station watched them for awhile before contacting the Mexican authorities. Yes, they even seized the catapult!

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

That Really Sucks

You got me a hot vacuum cleaner?

Sheez, imagine getting a reconditioned vacuum cleaner for Chrissy only to discover a) it’s a friggin refurbished present b) its a friggin vacuum cleaner and  c) it was stuffed with $280,000 worth of crystal methamphetamine and cocaine. Wisconsin police believe smugglers put the drugs in the box after the machine was reconditioned in Juarez, Mexico. Unfortunately for the drug cartel, someone failed to pick up the stash when it arrived in the States and ended up on a shelf in a department store in Wisconsin.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

How To Get High On Broccoli

Dude, just chill!

Dumbassed drug smugglers thought they’d be clever mixing 5,000lbs of marijuana with a crate of broccoli and sneak it across the Falfurrias checkpoint. As if anyone would look in there, huh? Hello, sniffer dogs know their vegies from their weed!

Psst I hope they destroy the broccoli too, I hate friggin broccoli.

7 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

Well Someone Forgot To Check The Bananas

Spanish police suspect the drug dealers, who accidentally let 175lb of cocaine get sent  to grocery stores around Madrid, will be really pissed. The drugs were hidden in boxes of bananas shipped from Ecuador and Ivory Coast. Hmm, well someone is in deep doo dah.

Psst Does anyone care that 2,000lb of bananas had to be destroyed  because some idiot couldn’t do his drug smuggling job properly?

9 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never, Whoops!