Tag Archives: Dubai

Shopping Mall Castaway

richard-simmons2An Italian man claims he spent 13 months lost in a Dubai shopping mall unable to find an exit. The dishevelled man appeared with a battered trolley a few days ago  telling confused staff he had been surviving on fast food after he was parted from his friend during a mad shopping rush. Despite raised eyebrows the man was taken to hospital.

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Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Sneeze

New Strain of Deadly SARS-like virusCover your la mouths people, there is a deadly outbreak of a  SARS-like virus in France and it’s contagious as all hell. The nasty virus has killed over 18 people so far (mostly in Saudi Arabia) but is expected to spread like wildfire. The latest victim contracted nCoV-EMC after sharing a hospital ward with man who contracted it after visiting Dubai.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Al Qaeda You Say?

That was us you infidels!

Remember the UPS plane that crashed in September after it took off from Dubai airport? Yeah, that one.Well, investigators might want to take another look because Al Qaeda are now saying it was downed by one of their little parcel bombs. Awkward, considering initial findings eliminated the possibility of a bomb. Al Qaeda said “We downed the plane belonging to the American UPS company, but because the media of the enemy did not attribute responsibility for this work to us we kept quiet about the operation until the time came that we hit again,” Authorities will now sift through the wreckage again to look for traces of PETN, the terrorist explosive of choice. That’s the hard to detect explosive.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

How Many Assassins Does It Take To Kill a Hamas Leader?

Geez, in my day it only took one assassin to bump off someone not friggin 11. Authorities in Dubai believe Hamas leader Mahmud al-Mabhuh (Mahmoud al Mabhouh) was murdered by a hit squad made up of British, Irish , German and French passport holders. They are also pointing fingers and raising eyebrows at Mossad (Israel’s spy agency) who they believe organized the hit. The Hamas leader was killed in his hotel room last month while on a trip, allegedly to Iran, to buy weapons. The hit squad 11, who had prior knowledge of al Mabhouh’s movements, booked into a room down the hall from the target and either strangled Al-Mubhuh or injected him with a heart attack inducing drug before putting a “do not disturb” sign on the door and exiting stage left. The group used “touristy” disguises such as tennis outfits, wigs and hats to look inconspicuous during their brief stay at the 5 star hotel.

UPDATE : 6 of the Britons named in the plot (of which 3 live in Israel) are furious their identities were stolen and their names link to the assassination. Britain, Ireland and German authorities are claiming the passports are fraudulent.

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Filed under End Credit, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Happy Engagement

It’s bad enough getting raped but imagine being arrested after telling police you’ve been attacked. A Muslim woman who lives in London was in Dubai celebrating her engagement when she was attack in a hotel lavatory by a waiter (allegedly) after she passed out . When the couple contacted police she was taken into custody for “illegal drinking” along with having sexual intercourse outside marriage. Oh and get this, her fiance was charged with the same offenses! If found guilty, that’s up to 6 years jail. Hmm, now there’s a party you would want to forget.

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Filed under Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Baby Placenta Facial Treatments A Hit in Dubai

Hell no, I'm 34!

Hands up who is willing to rub baby placenta on their face to look younger? Not this friggin loon. Anywho, baby placenta facial treatments are the latest beauty craze for face conscious women in Dubai and they are quite willing to pay £170 for every session. Why? Evidently, adult skin loves nothing better than to mimic baby collagen cells …who knew? Hmm, quick note to anyone using sheep and horse placenta, you may want to do a little re-think! So loons, I know what you are all thinking, where are they getting the baby goo from? Well it seems Russian women don’t mind handing it over. Oh well, at least your face will be able to cope with harsh cold winters. I wonder if you can pick the right baby placenta for your skin tone?

Psst Victoria Beckham, Jennifer Lopez and Simon Cowell all splash it on their faces.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, I'm Just Saying !, You Go Girl!

Godiva of the Middle East

Hey, what are you doing? I am a male!

Hey, what are you doing? I am a male!

Oh dear, my chocoholic days maybe coming to a crossroad. Dubai have just released camel milk chocolate . Hmm, that’s right made from real camels’ milk. Ooh yummy yum yum. Al Nassma, which is owned by Dubai’s ruler Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum, plans to produce 100 tons of camel milk chocolate a year. Evidently, camel milk is way better than cows’ milk because it contains five times more vitamin C, less fat, less lactose and more insulin which gives the diabetics and the lactose intolerant people an interesting alternative.Please don’t let it taste like friggin carob!

Psst How do you milk a friggin camel?

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Filed under Friggin Wrong, Well I Never