Tag Archives: earth

Death Stars

Hold on to your tin foil hats loons death stars are heading our way and they’re not happy. Yep, expect a bucket load of icy hail and destruction. Oh wait, they are coming in the next hundred thousand years. Sheez NASA, enough attention seeking. As you were loons.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

What Is The Odds?

It seems when it comes to the end of the world both NASA and the European Space Operations Centre love scaring the beegezus out of us. ESOC are now on the “death by asteroid” bandwagon, predicting it is just a matter of time before KABOOM. But don’t fear earthlings, Europe is setting up a series of telescopes which will give us a 3 weeks heads up on any wayward asteroids . Well that is handy for NO ONE!!!!

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Filed under Friggin Scary

Incoming!!!!!

As if we haven’t got enough things to worry about, NASA are now scratching their collective heads about an astroid that could kaboom us all. The rock in question is about 500m in diameter and is spinning through orbit at an alarming 101,000 km per hour. Hard hat sales are going to go through the roof. My greatest fear however, is that in a few million years another species of beings will be talking about this “amazing” civilisation that had once roamed the Earth. This civilisation was so advanced they had little devices that could locate and catch creatures known as Pokemons.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Incoming

OK loons, resume the stack hat position, a mysterious object is hurtling to Earth and should kaboom on Friday the 13th. Scientists believe the object named WT1190F (aka “what the 1190 f*ck”) is space junk of some kind but they aren’t too sure what the impact will be. They are saying it will most likely land in the ocean off Sri Lanka but I am assuming that is to alleviate fears it could land on our noggins.

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Filed under Well I Never

Asteroid Alert

explosion

Evidently there is an enormous asteroid heading straight for earth and scientists have no idea how to stop it. The kaboom is expected around 2880, hmm I think I’ ll be too old to care.

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Filed under Friggin Scary

Everybody Duck, Space Junk Heading Our Way

EXPLOSION 8Stack hats at the ready Loons, a defunct Russian satellite is going to be crashing to earth today and experts haven’t a clue where it is going to kaboom.The Russians have released the standard pre crash warning blah blahs about the unlikely chance of getting hit by space junk fragments because most of the planet is covered in water. Just let it be known the Loon warned you.

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Filed under Friggin Scary

Duck Everyone

drunk3OK, no need to panic earthlings but a one tonne European satellite is gonna be crashing to earth sometime in the next two days and no one has a friggin clue where it is going to land. Thanks NASA!!!! Scientists are saying the chances of getting wholloped by a piece of space junk is minimal but you might want to dust off your stack hats just in case. You know, to be on the safe side!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !

Duck, Another Asteroid Heading Our Way

Hard hats on loons, another asteroid is hurtling our way and it’s the size of a city block. The massive object named 2012 LZ1 was discovered a few days ago an should pass Earth tonight. OK, there’s  not a snowflakes chance in hell it’s going to hit us, as it’s expected to pass within a distance of 7.5 million kilometers but experts have been known to get it wrong. Brace position!!!!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !

End Of The World Spoiler Alert

Want to know how it’s all going to end? Look away those of  you who are quite happy living in eternal bliss, but for the rest of you, here goes. Some day the sun is going to explode (and by explode, I mean KABOOM) , destroy our neighboring planets and roast the Earth’s surface , leaving us all but a charred memory in the universe. This according to a group of pessimistic astrophysicist bastards. Good news, it won’t be happening anytime soon, so don on your snuggie blankets, pour a glass of champers and watch reruns of Black Adder.

Psst Oi, hang on just one minute, don’t get too comfie, those friggin Mayans might still be right!!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary

Everybody Duck An Asteroid Is Coming

If by any chance we survive the Mayan’s 2012 end of earth prediction we will then have a 150ft asteroid to contend with in 2013. The huge space rock, which is called 2012 DA14, is expected to avoid us by only 17,000 miles. Experts say that the odds of a hit are very low but in 2020 you might want to grab a hard hat as its orbit is very similar to Earth’s and chances of a kaboom  will drastically increase. Just forewarning you people!!!

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never