A rather peeved Scottish man rang 999 (911 equivilent) claiming that the staff at an Edinburgh McDonalds store had ignored him, so he had jumped into his car , driven to the drive-thru window and proceeded to hold up the queue. Needless to say the dispatcher asked him for a McFeast and fries. OK, no she didn’t.
Tag Archives: Edinburgh
‘I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.’
Standby here’s the one voted the worst ……
‘I said to a fella, “Is there a B&Q in Henley?” He said, “No, there’s an H, an E, an N, an L and a Y”.’
Oh and the one I just couldn’t work out whether it was funny or sick …..
‘My friend died doing what he loved … heroin.’
Honey, sweetie, darl, it may be a Louis Vuitton bag, but if it means getting dragged behind a car , I think you need to let it go! A Scottish woman was walking down a street in Edinburgh when a group of men in a car called her over. As she got there one of them grabbed her purse and the car sped off. Hmm, it’s a friggin Louis, she wasn’t about to be letting go and held on with grim death as she got dragged behind the car clutching the purse. When the culprit realized she wasn’t going to give it up he let go. Hey, what’s a bit of skin off the knees, a sore arm and a trip to the hospital when it come to protecting your designer accessories.
The Auld Bitch’s silk stockings are about to go under the hammer at Lyon & Turnbull in Edinburgh. Yes, anyone interested in Queen Victoria’s black and white hand stitched silks (with crest) dated around the 1870’s? Hmm, a few years back her big old bloomers went for £4,500.
Psst I hope Queen Elizabeth requests her under garments be destroyed after her death, imagine them popping up in auction a hundred years from now!
OK Loons, wanna know what was voted the funniest joke at this year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe? Are you sure? Really? Are you ready? OK, here it is…..”Hedgehogs. Why can’t they just share the hedge?”. OK, I shall pause for a few secs to give you a chance to let out a hearty laugh! Finished? Good. OK, wanna know what was voted the worst? Of course you do…A brunette, a red-head and a blonde break out of Holloway Prison and decide to hide in a sacks they find in a barn.The police come in and feel the sack with the brunette in it and she goes ‘miaow’! They then feel the sack with the red-head in it and she goes ‘woof!’ Finally they feel the sack with the blonde and she shouts’potatoes’!
Psst Glad there were no Lockerbie gags this year!!!! Come on Loons you can surely do better!