This Is No Yolk

Oh my Bearman, it better not be YOU!!!!! Some poor elderly man in Ohio has had his house egged every day for nearly a year. Despite the police doing undercover stakeouts,  the culprits continue to pelt  his front door in the middle of the night. The attacks go for about 10 minutes and sound like gunshots. His house is now badly damaged from the continual bombardment of rotten eggs. The eggs have been tested in a lab and they have been traced to a local Amish farm.

Mom, Can We Keep Them?

You know what I hate ? When a three year old finds a nest of eggs in his yard, carts them to his room and puts them in a container in his wardrobe only to have them hatch out a clutch of …. seven baby eastern brown snakes (one of the most venomous species in the world). His mother discovered the hatchlings after opening his wardrobe and spying them squirming around inside the container.  An Aussie wildlife expert  said the family were lucky the boy didn’t play with them because the darn things are extremely aggressive and are pretty much deadly.

Bieber Pelted With Eggs

Oh dear, who would dare throw eggs at poor little singing sensation Justin Bieber while performing in front his adoring Sydney fans? Well, someone did. Six of the little suckers were hurled from the crowd onto the stage as he sang. It was obviously wasn’t  a girl because they all missed. Anywho, the Bieb was unscathed but the Beliebers  ain’t happy  and have gone on the social networking sites to voice their disapproval.

Psst Sheez, he should be grateful they didn’t pelt him with emu eggs, now that would have hurt!

Worse Diet Ever

Look away sensitive loons, this could make you squirm. Chinese female students are evidently eating roundworm eggs to help them lose weight so they look good for job interviews. Hello, it’s a bitch competing with a billion people ! Anywho, here’s how it works, once the eggs hatch in the stomach, viola, instant weight loss with out having to diet or to do one damn exercise.

Psst Where the hell would you find roundworm eggs? Sheez, just stick to maggots I say!