Tag Archives: elderly

Majority of Japanese Shoplifters Are Elderly

Japanese elderly highest shopliftersSenior cits in Japan are outnumbering teenagers in the shoptlifting stakes. Yep, the elderly are running amok as the country modernises and family support dwindles. The majority of senior cits getting caught were arrested for stealing food. Evidently 3.5 million elderly women and 1.4 million elderly men live alone.  Very sad.

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Senior Citizens Excellent Adventure

Dude, where's my car?

OK, here’s the thing, when preparing a wake for senior cits, probably  not a good idea to spike the brownies with marijuana. I’m just saying. Two elderly women and a man ended up in a California hospital after getting high as kites chomping on the hash brownies. Hmm, wait until the munchies set in!.

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Christmas Hospital Rush

It’s the season to fake an illness falalalala lala la la. Elderly people across America, the UK, Europe and Australia are making up fictitious injuries and faking illnesses to get into hospital so they don’t have to spend Christmas alone. Sad. This is also the time of the year when the grannies and gramps get dumped on the doorsteps of nursing homes. One less person to buy for I guess. Festive season my ass !

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Booby Trap Fail

OMG, when you booby trap your own home it’s wise to remember.  Jos Potvin (75) died after he forgot he had rigged a rifle to a string that ran across the floor of his bedroom. Quebec police believe he triggered the trap when he got up to make himself a meal. The poor man had been terrified of being burgled and rigged up the trap to blow the shit out of would-be thieves.

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All Elevators Should Have Emergency Alarm Systems

OMG, an elderly couple have been found dead after an elevator in their home got stuck between floors and they died from heat exhaustion. The 90 and 89 year old were discovered after a concerned newpaper delivery person noticed the papers were piling up.The elevator had no emergency device like a phone for them to call for help. Terrible tragedy.

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Unarmed Elderly Shuffling Bank Robber Finally Caught

Damn whippersnappers!

Florida police have finally caught the elderly unarmed bank robber who had successfully robbed three banks despite walking with a slow shuffle. Each time the elderly man would shuffle in and pass a note to the teller demanding $600, then slowly shuffle out with his loot. James Bruce (73) was finally sprung after someone recognized him on a surveillance video released to the public. Poor old Bruce said he needed the money to pay his mortgage because his retirement fund had run out but was planning to pay the money back as soon as his luck changed.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !