Tag Archives: emergency

Doll Rescuers

Granny, where's Todd?

Granny, where’s Todd?

Well this is embarrassing. Emergency workers, including police and ambulance workers, smashed a car window to rescue a baby lying lifeless in a childseat only to discover it was a life-like doll named Todd. Seems the 2 year old owner of the doll left it in the carseat of grannys car.


Filed under Whoops!

This Is An Emergency

911Hello, is this 911? Yeah, well my wife threw out my beer. Despite the Florida man being warned about the consequences of misusing the emergency number that didn’t stop him ringing 7 times. On the finally call the man was frantic because a woman outside had opened two of the beers. Sheez, in some parts that IS considered an emergency!


Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Damn Straight It’s An Emergency

Man rings 999 after finding cork bits in his wineHello, is that 999? Yeah well, I want to complain that there is bits of cork in my wine and the bar won’t refund my money.

Psst From a restaurant in Manchester.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Nail Biting Emergency



Oh crap. Melbourne authorities have sent out an urgent plea for the man who bought Tincture of Nux Vomica from a local pharmacy  to return it immediately. Seems it contains friggin strychnine. Yes , you heard me strychnine. The man told the pharmachist he wanted something to stop his kid from biting their nails. Hmm, yeah, that will do it. Ingesting it can cause convulsions and possible death. Big question, who sells strychnine to the public? Miss Marple would be rolling around in her grave.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Whoops!

To Be Sure To Be Sure

A Delta Airlines plane made an emergency landing at Dublin airport after a passenger plugged his cell phone into the shaving socket in the plane’s loo and the pilot got suspicious. Move on, nothing to see here!!!


Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Pilot Trapped in Toilet Causes Mid Air Scare

Oh dear, what is worse than a pilot accidentally locking himself in the bathroom of his plane? The panic caused when a man with a “Middle Eastern” accent tries to help him. The pilot of Chatauqua (Delta) Airlines was taking a quick leak before landing in New York City when the door jammed. Enter the “Middle Eastern” accent guy who came to the captain’s rescue. The captain told the “Middle Eastern” accent guy (through the toilet door) to tell the cockpit crew of the dilemma. While the “Middle Eastern” accent guy was knocking on the cockpit door, trying to get some attention, the co-pilot contacted the tower at La Guardia freaking the hell out. He told the tower  “I have someone with a thick foreign accent trying to access the cockpit”. That’s an emergency declared right there. Awkward! Lucky the jet fighters weren’t alerted…ah wait…more awkward.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Friggin Budget Airlines

Budget airline Ryanair had a little midair emergency when the tape (thought to be duct tape) used to patch up the pilot’s window came unstuck.Ooh ah. Some of the 200 passengers saw the ground crew whack the tape around the edge of the windowscreen before take-off. About 20 minutes into the flight from London to Latvia the tape came loose and began making a “disturbing” sound. A spokesman for Ryanair said, “We do not comment on routine technical issues. All Ryanair flights operate in accordance with approved safety standards.” Hmm, that episode of Air Crash Investigation would have been a hoot!

Want sauce with that?


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Five Year Old In Cardiac Arrest Turns Out To Be a Friggin Cat!

OK people, one more time, 000, 999 and 911 are for “human” emergencies ONLY. British ambulance officers were stunned when they raced to an emergency call to save a “five year old” in cardiac arrest, only to discover the patient was a friggin cat. OK, sure, a much loved cat, but a friggin cat. The dispatcher received the call from a distressed couple who were begging for someone to revive their 5 year old. Not only was an ambulance called but also a rapid reponse car. When they arrived they found the couple in tears cradling their moggy (which later died). One of the paramedics was heard muttering “I’ve gone to some silly calls but nothing like this. I can’t understand why they didn’t try to call a vet.”


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Hello, Emergency Service?

And the winner of the dumbassed 999 caller (Scottish) of the week goes to the person who rang emergency services to report someone had farted on their dog. Still no word on the condition of the pooch.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass

Merry Christmas 999

Attention time wasting 999 callers, the Hertfordshire police have had enough. Please don’t ring unless you have a friggin emergency….

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never