Tag Archives: England

Free Car Wash In Wakefield

You call it in-considerate, I call friggin ingenuity. A British motorist was caught taking his car through a public fountain for a free car wash. The silver Insignia was seen driving in circles under the jets of water. Unfortunately for the driver he got busted by the cops who didn’t quite see the brilliance of it all.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome

The Perfect Weather For Crime

British researchers have analysed 6.6 million police records from last decade and concluded that the perfect temperature for criminal activity is 64F (18C). Seems there is pretty much zip during a heatwave because offenders are worn out by the oppressive temperatures. And I am guessing oppressive temps in Britain would be 19C. Still no cure for cancer.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Calling Jamie Oliver, Jamie Oliver to the Front Desk

ambulanceOh dear, a new report has revealed that 26,000 British kids between 5 and 9 have been admitted to hospital in the past year for…. wait for it …rotten teeth. That is like 500 per week. Thanks fruit juice and fizzy drinks!

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Watford Beats Leicester

The moment underdogs Watford beat Leicester to go to the Premier League finals ….. priceless.

Oh, there’s more ….

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Are You Nuts?

No peanut warning on Whole Hearted Roasted Monkey NutsIn the continuing effort to maintain the Nanny State tradition, a British supermarket has removed Whole Hearted Roasted Monkey Nuts from their shelves because, wait for it ….. they don’t have a peanut content warning. Who’s a monkey’s nut now?

Psst Are people with nut allergies that foolish?

 

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Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Hamster Goes All Jesus On Easter

Attention hamster owners , no, the hamster that  resurrected itself on Easter was not dead but hibernating. When a couple, who were looking after Tink, found her lifeless at the bottom of the cage they made her a little paper casket and buried her in the backyard. The next day a neighbor found Tink hiding in a recycling box freezing her friggin ass off. Nothing like being buried alive to wake you from a dormant state.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife

Nigel The Learning Disabled Ghost

Nigel thr ghost haunts house in EnglandA woman in England wants the housing authorities to find her a new house because the one she is living in at present is haunted by a ghost called Nigel who has a learning disability.  Hey, don’t look at me, that’s what the paranormal “investigator” told her. Anywho, Nigel just likes to turn the lights and microwave on and off. Boo!

Want Sauce With That?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never