Tag Archives: England

Watford Beats Leicester

The moment underdogs Watford beat Leicester to go to the Premier League finals ….. priceless.

Oh, there’s more ….

6 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

Are You Nuts?

No peanut warning on Whole Hearted Roasted Monkey NutsIn the continuing effort to maintain the Nanny State tradition, a British supermarket has removed Whole Hearted Roasted Monkey Nuts from their shelves because, wait for it ….. they don’t have a peanut content warning. Who’s a monkey’s nut now?

Psst Are people with nut allergies that foolish?

 

3 Comments

Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Hamster Goes All Jesus On Easter

Attention hamster owners , no, the hamster that  resurrected itself on Easter was not dead but hibernating. When a couple, who were looking after Tink, found her lifeless at the bottom of the cage they made her a little paper casket and buried her in the backyard. The next day a neighbor found Tink hiding in a recycling box freezing her friggin ass off. Nothing like being buried alive to wake you from a dormant state.

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Wildlife

Nigel The Learning Disabled Ghost

Nigel thr ghost haunts house in EnglandA woman in England wants the housing authorities to find her a new house because the one she is living in at present is haunted by a ghost called Nigel who has a learning disability.  Hey, don’t look at me, that’s what the paranormal “investigator” told her. Anywho, Nigel just likes to turn the lights and microwave on and off. Boo!

Want Sauce With That?

3 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Bus Driver Stops To Buy Sandwich

Bus driver stops to buy sandwichIn Britain, if a bus driver is hungry, he’ll just pull over to a shop and buy himself some food, even if he has a bus full of passengers, that’s just how they roll. The hungry driver who was in the middle of his route allegedly pulled up to the bakery, got off the bus and bought himself a nice old sandwich before reboarding and continuing on his merry way. Well, at least he didn’t stop to eat it.

5 Comments

Filed under They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

British Water Affecting Otters’ Penis Bones

What about the beavers???

What about the beavers???

Well British loons, it seems the weight of otters’ penis bones are decreasing. What the hell does that even mean? Experts are saying the reason for this is the chemicals found in British waterways. The male otters are also suffering from an increase in undescended testicles and cysts on sperm-carrying tubes. One doctor says this is an early warning sign to all mammals including humans. Dear god a decreasing penis bone is not what you want.

Want sauce with that?

8 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife

Naughty

Festive elves arrestedIn other news , two festive elves have been arrested in England after attacking two men at a bar.

5 Comments

Filed under Well I Never

Honey, Where Are The Christmas Lights?

My bad?

My bad?

Bad boy. Some silly mutt in England swallowed a foot long string of Christmas fairy lights. How did the owner know? Evidently wires were sticking out of his butt. The dog was rushed to the vet and the lights removed. Merry friggin vet bill. Ho, ho,ho.

8 Comments

Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Whoops!

Sorry, We Thought It Was A Samurai Sword

I’m so sorry sir, but I thought the white cane you were holding was a sword, if I knew you were just blind I would never have tasered you. Awkward. Police in England have apologized to a blind man who they tasered after they received reports of someone walking around Chorley with a samurai sword. The poor man, who never saw it coming, thought he was being mugged by thugs.

Psst The real samurai carrying dude was later arrested

12 Comments

Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Honey, Are You Sure It’s Not A Weed?

Oh bless. An elderly couple, who had loving nurtured a plant they bought at a flea market, have avoided arrest after police described it as the “biggest cannabis plant we had seen”. The couple, who had no idea what they had bought, planted it outside their Bedford home in England and watched it grow.

but is looks so pretty

11 Comments

Filed under Whoops!