I’m In Perth, Get Me Out of Here

One of the orang-utans at the Perth zoo attempted a great escape only to discover life wasn’t any better on the other side.

Pull Another One

A Swiss prisoner who had the almighiest of toothaches, but was denied treatment, escaped from  a minimum security facility to see his dentist. Once his tooth was pulled he contacted police and they returned him to his cell. He only got an additional day added to his original one month sentence.

Albino Skunk On The Run

Attention loons, if anyone happens upon an albino skunk named Roscoe, you might want to give Floyd Wilder from Florida a buzz. Roscoe, a family pet,  went AWOL for the second time and so far there has been no sign of him. Yeah, no, Floyd didn’t have a permit and yes, he’s been given a citation again.

Deadly Pet Escapes

Feet up Queenslanders, there is a King Cobra on the loose on the Gold Coast. Veteran snake catcher Tony Harrison received an anonymous call from a bloke concerned his escaped snake would attack someone. Initially Mr Harrison thought he was talking about a King Brown but the caller corrected him.  Oh for crying out loud , haven’t we got enough scary wildlife down under?

Psst Might want to sleep with both eyes open!!!

Catch Me If You Can

Weren't there three of us?

If you happen to see a young penguin frolicking in the Kyu-Edo River, no worries, that’s just an escapee from the Tokyo Sea Life Park . The little Humboldt critter scaled a wall to freedom and is now enjoying the good life. Park officials have tried in vain to catch the penguin but it’s a shifty little bugger and swims at incredibly fast speed. Good luck with that!

Shawcramped Redemption

Um, if you happened to stumble across a murderer, robber or drug trafficker in your travels, the Barreiras jail in Brazil might want a quick word. They have lost 82 prisoners. OK, not really lost, escaped . Seems the inmates made a hole in the roof and then scampered out during a heavy deluge so no one would hear them. Well, what do you expect when you cram 170 men into a prison designed to hold 28.

Feet Up Thailand

Oh dear, no need to panic people but about 100 crocs have escaped from a farm in central Thailand thanks to floodwaters. Authorities have told locals not to worry as most of them are only 1m long. Hmm, and the rest are??? I suggest sleeping with one eye open.

Yvonne The Cow Is Still Hiding in The Bavarian Forest

Yvonne the cow, has became and internet sensation after she bolted from a slaughterhouse and hid in a Bavarian forest. The cow has been on the run for three months and shows no signs of giving up. Hell, I wouldn’t either after police ordered the poor thing shot on sight after she leaped in front of  their car and they called her a “public hazard”. Despite  helicopters, infrared cameras and even a friggin “cow whisperer” the bovine has not been found (despite cow paddy sightings). Yvonne has been decribed as quick as a weasel and now has her own Facebook page.

Who Are We To Believe?

Remember the deadly cobra that escaped from the Bronx Zoo and then opened a Twitter account? Well anywho, zoo officials say they have caught the venomous creature but the cobra on Twitter says it’s all fibs. Who are we to believe? Hmm, maybe it’s in denial?  After the news of the capture broke, the stubborn cobra tweeted “Umm, since when is MYFOXNY a reliable source? Think people, think,”. The latest tweet from “cobra” said “If you see a bag of peanuts inexplicably moving along the ground at Yankee Stadium today. Just ignore it. It’s probably nothing”. Well, alrighty then, keep those feet up people!!!!

Three Komodo Dragons You Say?

OK people, feet up, three Komodo dragons have gone AWOL from an Indonesia zoo. These creatures are friggin vicious, deadly and run faster than Carl Lewis. Hello, toxic bacteria in their saliva!!!! Their friggin poison glands can knock you down like a ton of bricks and while you are in spasm on the ground paralyzed, they will feast on you. So if you see one it’s probably too late.