Tag Archives: escapes

Killer Python

Note to self, never ever sleep in the apartment above a reptile store. Two children are dead after a python escaped from the pet store, punched a hole in a ceiling and dropped down on to the two sleeping kids before proceeding to choke them to death. The brothers aged 5 and 7 were having a sleep over.

Psst Canada

Want sauce with that?

9 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wildlife

Don’t Fence Me In

Mariska the Friesian mare (AKA Houdini), has issues with being locked in her stall. She prefers to roam free and help herself to food whenEVER. Or, the other thought is  she has read the British newspapers and doesn’t want to end up in a Findus beef lasagne.

2 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife

Prisoner Escapes in His Undies

Wishful thinking

Attention loons in Hiroshima, be on the look out for a prison escapee. He should be easy to spot, he is wearing only white undies. This is Japan’s first jailbreak in more than 20 years and they are really pissed. Li Guolin stripped off in the prison yard before using builders scaffolding to scale the 5m perimeter fence. A security guard said Li “fell on his rear and turned over. Then he ran off at a steady trot.” Li is serving 23 years for attempted murder. Sheez, you’d be unlucky to get half of that for murder in Oz. Authorities have allocated 800 police officers to find the dude in the white undies. Good luck with that.

5 Comments

Filed under Friggin Japan, Well I Never

Shawshank Redutchion

Details are sketchy but a violent criminal who was serving time in a Breda prison in the Netherlands used a spoon to dig herself out. No word on how long it took the woman to dig the tunnel but it started in her cell. I wonder what she used to stir her coffee? Authorities say she is still on the loose.

Psst Hmm, the tax department might want to check the prison’s books? I hear Zihuatanejo is nice this time of year! I’m just saying.

1 Comment

Filed under Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Hippo Alert

Sure I'm harmless!

You know what I hate? When a friggin hippo escapes from a zoo and takes a stroll through nearby villages, scaring the shit out of  the locals. I really hate that. The hippopotamus in question is Nikica, a 9 year old resident of the Montenegro zoo who managed to escape her compound due to rising flood waters.  Despite the owners of the zoo saying there is no reason to panic, we all know how friggin nasty hippos can be, we’ve all seen Fantasia. Nikica 1, everyone else 0.

4 Comments

Filed under Friggin Wildlife, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round

WTF. Taking a criminally insane killer to a county fair. WTF. Mental hospital excursion. WTF. He escapes.WTF. He is in a bad mental state. WTfrigginF!

Psst On the bright side, they have 14 days to find him before his medicine wears off. WTF!

7 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Loon Award, Friggin Scary, How Embarrassing, Whoops!