Tag Archives: european union

Britain to Exit European Union

The people have spoken and it is ciao, auf Wiedersehen, au revoir, bon voyage, see ya don’t want to be ya.

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Filed under Well I Never

Is England abandoned a sinking ship?

Pendulum swings like a pendulum do...

David Cameron  is experiencing the French cold shoulder after vetoing a new EU power grab.  Cameron has said no, no, no, to a new  European treaty after they refused to agree to protect City of London if it all goes kaboom! Hmm and lets face it, why would Britain, who is relatively protected from the debt ridden Europe, want to board a sinking ship?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !

Bee Crisis Scaring European Politicians

I don't feel well!!!

Seems my doomsday work is never done. Just when you thought the Eurpoean economic crisis was going to be the end of the civilised world as we know it, up pops the friggin honey bee crisis once again! The pollination woes are such a major concern to European politicians they are begging the European Union (EU) to invest more funding into why the bees are dying on mass. Hmm, Albert Einstein’s little prediction seems to scaring the living beejeesus out of them “without bees, man would live no more than four years.”

Psst Dear lord, does that mean I will be forced to put Vegemite on my toast instead of honey ?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Shopping Got A Whole Lot Uglier!

Stinking friggin ugly garlic $1

ON SPECIAL : Stinking friggin ugly garlic $1

Ever wondered why you don’t see knobbly carrots and gnarly looking cucumbers at your local supermarket anymore? Because all ugly fruit and vegetables were banned by the European Union (EU). Yes that’s right, EU thought they are friggin ugly and no one likes ugly fruit and vegetables. That is until now, yes all the twisted disfigured fruit and veges are back in town and coming to a supermarket shelf near you. That horrible vegie and fruit discrimination called “market standards” are gone for now. Be warned though, the vegie section wont ever be the same again, nope, in fact it could get quite damn terrifying, especially for people who have never experienced ugly food before.Trauma counseling maybe required.
Some 20% of produce is rejected by shops across the EU because it simply isn’t beautiful enough for the consumers. No one gives a damn that we peel them, cut them,chop them, crush them, boil them and roast them in ovens. Hell no, we just want them looking pretty so we feel good about our trolleys. But as like new laws there are some guidelines, supermarkets must label them friggin ugly or along similar lines to least let the consumer know they were whacked with the ugly stick.
Wanna see the list of scary fruit and veges coming soon? Apricots, artichokes, asparagus, aubergines, avocadoes, beans, Brussels sprouts, carrots, cauliflowers, cherries, courgettes, cucumbers, cultivated mushrooms, garlic, hazelnuts in shell, headed cabbage, leeks, melons, onions, peas, plums, ribbed celery, spinach, walnuts in shell, water melons and witloof/chicory.

NOTE : Ugly or deformed apples, citrus fruit, kiwi fruit, lettuces, peaches and nectarines, pears, strawberries, sweet peppers, table grapes and tomatoes are still banished from the shelves.The world isn’t quite ready for them just yet.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious