Tag Archives: exorcist

Haunted Mattress

boo!

Calling all exorcists, all exorcists to Infirmary Walk please. Kevin Cartwright (56) who lives on Infirmary Walk in  Worcester is looking for an exorcist to get rid of the friggin spirits messing with his bed. The dude needs some sleep. Since returning from overseas last September his bed has been possessed. Evidently the mattress moves “like someone or something” is in it. Mr Cartwright even got 8 friends to sleep in his bed (not at the same time…gosh!) and 4 of them agreed something was friggin moving it. Three people, who claim to be in touch with the spirit world, came a calling and they told Mr Cartwright the little spooks are child spirits messing with him. Little shits! Hmm, interestingly he lives next to an old school building that recently had renovations done.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

The Devil Is In The Detail

Well, well, well, lookie here, if it ain’t the devil on a bathroom tile. Poor Laszlo Csrefko from Budapest spent a friggin fortune renovating his family bathroom only to have his horrified wife come screaming, naked, out of the shower after noticing the devil was perving at her from one of the tiles. Laszlo swears the image of the horned devil wasn’t on the tile when he first laid them. Not only does he claim the image appeared overnight, he also says the bathroom is always ice cold no matter how high they turn up the heat. The family are planning to call in an exorcist and if that fails they are sealing up the room for good.  Come on Loons what ya think devil or delusional?

Psst If that was my bathroom it would be the devil running out screaming…I’m just sayin!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

Show Me Your Tittays

This one is for Jammers …..

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, Well I Never

You’re Just The Devil In Disguise

Holy king of darkness Batman, guess where the devil is ? Well if you believe the Pope’s chief exorcist, he’s in the Vatican. Father Gabriele Amorth (84) is convinced the attack on Pope Benedict XVI and all the recent child sex abuse scandals are the work of the damn devil who is living amongst them. Amorth believes the Vatican needs a good old exorcism to “cast out the evil”. Now don’t be raising your eyebrow too high, Amorth has carried out more than 70,000 exorcisms in his 50 year career (that devil sure gets around!). He’s seen it all “From the mouths of the possessed people all sorts of things come out, bits of metal as long as a finger, rose petals.” According to Amorth the devil has possessed numerous people including Hitler and Stalin. In fact he revealed that Pope Pius XII attempted a “long distance” exorcism of Hitler but it failed (no kidding).  Hmm and Amorth is none too happy about the Harry Potter series believing it  opens up children’s  minds  to the “king of darkness.”

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Filed under Friggin Scary, Join the skeptic club!, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never