Attention people YES there is a global outage of Facebook, Instagram, and Messenger. NO, don’t ring 000, 911 or 999. This is not an emergency. I REPEAT, this is NOT an emergency.
Tag Archives: Facebook
OK Loons, one more time. Just don’t live stream anything of any importance on FB, especially not your wedding. A woman decided it would be cool to stream her wedding live on Facebook. And it would have been had it not been for the groom doing a runner. Yep, no show. That would have been the longest of awks and where you should have cut the feed. But no, the jilted bride eventually had to walk up to the mic and tell her guests it was O-ver. The no-show was blamed mainly on the groom’s secret lover. But wait there is more. In a vain attempt to keep the wedding alive, her family begged his look-a-like-uncle to don on the suit and marry her to save face. Bless his heart, he demanded a million baht. That bride be feeling very unloved.
Do you know the quickest way to get deported from Kyrgyzstan? Well, if you are a Scottish mine worker, posting that their national dish looks like a horse penis on Facebook will do it. Yes, the Scottish worker was arrested and then given his marching orders after posting a photo of his co-workers lining up for their chuchuck sausage and including the horse penis reference. Evidently, he was lucky to have dodged a 5 year jail sentence for race hate.
You are so friggin bored that you decide to post “I’m trying to remain positive and centered but, truthfully, I’m dying from boredom.” on your Facebook page. All well and good if you aren’t in court and on jury duty. That’s a $1000 fine and a mistrial right there. Awks. The juror also posted “God help me the other jurors don’t trust the police and want to outright dismiss the confessions as well as the majority of the rest of the evidence. Tomorrow is going to be a very difficult day.” Insert eye roll anywhere you see fit, loons.
It’s all fun and games until you can’t log it Facebook. One more time Loons, if you are going to change your name to Something Long and Complicated expect to have trouble convincing Facebook (or any other sucker for that matter) it really is your name . The social media platform made life rather troublesome for Something Long and Complicated after they rejected his identity verification.
PSST Yes, he is one of those people who thought it would be hilarious to change his normal name to something long and complicated.
Facebook have been forced to remove the emoji “feeling fat” from their status update icons after a body image group whined and then started a “fat is not a feeling” petition on Change.org . Seems they consider the weeny little icon with a double chin a form of body shaming. Hell, I see the smiley face as a threat to my gloomy disposition. Build a bridge and get over it. 😉
It seems in Florida when you get denied as a Facebook friend by your grandma it is customary to go slap her face (multiple times). OK, maybe not, but someone didn’t get the memo. A woman who tried to befriend her granny got angry when her request was denied. Seems granny wasn’t impressed with her Facebook moniker and refused to accept her until it was changed. That is when the slapping began and the assault charges followed. I’m guessing Christmas is going to be awks.
A mother who lost her son through suicide, decided to turn to social media to arrange the most awesome of send offs. Hallie Twomey set up a Facebook page entitled Scattering CJ and asked people around the world if they would like to scatter a small amount of his ashes in a place of their choosing . So far she has had over 9,000 offers. Hallie Twomey said her son “didn’t get to see the world and I wanted to give CJ something he didn’t get a chance to have.” CJ was a a former member of the US air force.
PSST You can check out where CJ’s journey has taken him here at Scattering CJ.