You Should Have Just Run Away

Oh for the love of Patty Hearst, what were you thinking? Atlanta college student Aftab Aslam  was failing his English classes so he did what any 19 year old kid who is scared of his parents would do ….  he bought a new cellphone and texted his parents he’d been kidnapped. For one long, cold week poor Aslam camped out in the wilderness but it got too  rainy so he reluctantly returned to face his parents and the numerous charges… that include making a false report, false statements, tampering with evidence and terroristic threats. His parents must be so proud.

Psst Hmm, I’d be going for the ” No speaka da Engrish” excuse if I were him.

How Scary Is Your Girlfriend?

Probably not a good idea to fake being kidnapped to avoid telling your girlfriend where you’d  been for 2 friggin weeks. Yes, I know you went to a lot of trouble, duct taping your hands, legs and mouth and plonking yourself between two cars in Brooklyn but police are smarter these days. Have you not seen CSI? After a bit of an interrogation the poor guy admitted to police he wasn’t kidnapped and held captive for two weeks, just simply terrified of facing his girlfriend. “He’s a total moron,” said one cop after he was arrested and charged.

Can’t Wait To Hear Your Next Sermon!

You humans crack me up!

Oh for Pete’s sakes mister,check out number 7 & 8 on your Ten Commandments list.Seventh Day Adventist Church of Reform pastor Wikler Moran-Mora got himself into some holy hotwater after faking a kidnapping so he could spend more with his girlfriend. Yes, the dunderklumpen from Florida, text his wife to say he had been kidnapped, not thinking she would call the police! The police ( a dozen of them) eventually traced his cell phone and found the pastor giving comfort, but not in a Biblical sense, to his mistress.

Psst Hmm, you might want to be thinking about breaking  #9 right about now!