Tag Archives: fart

Ouch

Note to self, refrain from farting when having surgery. A Japanese woman let one rip during a cervix procedure and ignited the laser and herself.  She received burns to her waist and legs.

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Foul!

fartA soccer player in Sweden let one rip and was sent off by the ref. Yep, a red card for farting. Ref claims it was “deliberate” and “unsportsmanlike”,  he said “I had a bad stomach and so I simply let go”,  players said it was “loud and clear”.

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Filed under Friggin Gross

Sheep on a Plane

Pardon me

Pardon me

What do you get when you transport 2,186 sheep on a plane from Australia to Kuala Lumpur? A mid-air emergency. Evidently, the sheep farted so much it triggered the fire detection alarms and pilots were forced to divert the plane to Bali.  Pity the fool who had to open that cargo hold. Nawww stressed sheep are prone to bloat with gas. Good to know.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife

Maestro Fart

An Aussie comedian who accidentally farted a “major seventh arpeggio in the key of b flat,” (don’t ask me how he knew!!!) has put it to good use.

Psst: I swear men all over the world will be using this as an excuse “Sorry hun, just practising my  major seventh arpeggio in the key of b flat…. you know, my ass is a fine tuned instrument.”

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Fart Leads To Fight

fartA drunk 64 year old man sees a 33 year old woman asleep on her couch so he enters her home and lets one rip right in her face. That’s a beating mister. Both were later issued citations for fighting.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing

Hand Up, Who Farted?

You know what I hate? When you think you can squeeze out a silent fart just as Judd Trump  lines up for a shot in the Snooker World Championship semi-final against Ronnie O’Sullivan and it goes all terribly wrong. I really figgin hate that. Sheez, I just hope it wasn’t smelly too.

Psst Thanks Susi Spice  for this gem.

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Whoops!

Nothing Worse Than a Hippo With Diarrhea

Never, ever stand behind a hippo with the runs. AND yes that is him farting too!!! Oh for goodness sakes someone get him a mop!

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife

Iguana Fart

Come on loons, you know you can’t help yourself, you are going to click because, let’s face it, we’re  all friggin childish!

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife

The Sweet Smell Of Success

My bad?

OK it’s official, no more intentional farting in a Swedish jail. Yes, after guards filed numerous complaints against a prisoner who used farts to voice his disapproval, the flatulence offender has been issued with an official warning. One more time mister and you face punishment.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, Friggin Gross, Well I Never

iToot!

Oh for goodness sakes, now I’m going to giggle and give them that knowing look every time I hear a cell phone ring!

8 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !