Tag Archives: finger

Actress At A Loss

police run prints from severed finger and make arrestIn breaking news Lindsay Lohan has lost half a finger in a boating accident. I wonder which finger?

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Christ The Redeemer Loses A Finger

redeemerOh no, Christ the Redeemer, the massive statue on top of a mountain in Rio de Janeiro, is minus a finger after being struck by lightning. Yep, a finger on its right hand was blown off  when a bolt came from the heavens.

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Robber Leaves His Finger At The Scene

OK, if the armed robber from Albuquerque is looking for his severed finger, the police have  it. Seems he accidentally shot it off during a gunfight at a smoke shop.

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Filed under Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt

Honey, I Don’t Think This Is Part Of The Nativity Play

Oh for crying out loud you parents. When attending a nativity play at your kid’s school, just sit down and friggin watch. Sheez, none of this male macho biting off fingers crap, thanks. Seems two male parents got into a fight during the Harton Primary School Christmas play, resulting in one man biting off the other man’s finger. A witness said “One bit the finger off the other and spat the blood out like an animal.” It’s the season to be jolly,  fa lalalala lala la la.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

That’s Using Your Finger

A quick thinking New York cop saved himself from a bullet by wedging his finger between the gun hammer and cylinder after a man put a revolver to his stomach. Yeah, OK, he got his ring finger broken for his troubles but he avoided his own funeral. Bravo Sergeant Michael Miller.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, That's Gotta Hurt

Amelia Earhart Mystery

Hold onto your deerstalkers loons, the mystery of Amelia Earhart could be solved.A tiny bone fragment, thought to be part of a finger, has been found on the tiny atoll of Nikumaroro in the Pacific along with a woman’s compact,  a 1933 bottle and a pocket knife. Experts believe the bone and the  items found could belong to famed aviator Earhart who went missing during an attempt to circumnavigate the globe in 1937. Her mysterious disappearance sparked an avalanche of theories including she was a spy for Franklin Roosevelt, she was captured by the Japanese and subsequently killed, she was one of the many Toyko Rose’s, she survived the world flight and assumed another identity.Hopefully the DNA will prove once and for all Earhart and her  navigator Fred Noonan became castaways on the tropical island and died some time later, probably from thirst.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Step Away From the Butt Crack

OK, here’s the thing Dallas women, please don’t put your fingers down someone else’s butt crack unless you want a friggin knife fight. According to the police report a woman rubbed her fingers along her friend’s bum crack, who reacted by clenching her butt. This, the victim claims, caused her to break the bed she was sitting on. The suspect was furious about the bed and attacked the victim before grabbing a butcher knife and threatening to kill her. The victim eventually rang the Dallas police who now have a ton of useless paperwork to fill out.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!